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Smacking children is the best form of discipline. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.13

Smacking children is the best form of discipline. v. 13
Smacking children have become increasingly popular among certain demographics of society. These people claim that giving corporal punishment is the superlative way of making the young ones disciplined. I entirely disagree with this proposition because it has an adverse effect on child psychology. It is fairly easy to comprehend why some individuals favour this unacceptable behaviour. This is mainly because they believe it would breed fear in younger people and assist them to become well-behaved individuals. If parents give some physical punishment to their offspring for doing something wrong, he will definitely hesitate to repeat the same thing in the future; consequently, he will become a disciplined person. For example, slapping a child when he mistreated his siblings means he will obviously be not misbehaving with other youngsters. In short, from these people’s perspectives, smacking youngsters are necessary in order to avoid them from engaging in anti-social acts. However, this idea does not seem judicious to me as it could cast a damaging effect on child psychology in the long run. Adolescent, who is subjected to corporal punishment all the times, is more likely to turn into rebellious adult. As they see their guardians hitting them or slapping them on minor mistakes, they become more aggressive and short-tempered. Being exposed to incessant physical violence weakens their psychology; therefore, they are unable to differentiate between acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. I believe instead of practising this cruel act, it’s better to deal child’s behavioural issues in polite way. Examples set of parents could largely help young minds to become accountable as they tend to imitate by observing from the environment. Conclusively, smacking is really a barbaric practice and parents who employ this act should be penalised. It’s the parents' responsibility to make wholesome atmosphere at home where child himself can learn discipline.
Smacking children have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
increasingly
popular among certain demographics of society. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that giving corporal punishment is the superlative way of making the young ones disciplined. I
entirely
disagree with this proposition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has an adverse effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
psychology.

It is
fairly
easy to comprehend why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
this unacceptable
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe it would breed fear in younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and assist them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
well-behaved individuals. If parents give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical punishment to their offspring for doing something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, he will definitely hesitate to repeat the same thing in the future;
consequently
, he will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a disciplined person.
For example
, slapping a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
when he mistreated his siblings means he will
obviously
be not misbehaving with other youngsters. In short, from these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s perspectives, smacking youngsters are necessary in order to avoid them from engaging in anti-social acts.

However
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
does not seem judicious to me as it could cast a damaging effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
psychology in the long run. Adolescent, who
is subjected
to corporal punishment all the times, is more likely to turn into rebellious adult. As they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their guardians hitting them or slapping them on minor mistakes, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more aggressive and short-tempered.
Being exposed
to incessant physical violence weakens their psychology;
therefore
, they are unable to differentiate between acceptable and unacceptable
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. I believe
instead
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
this cruel act, it’s better to deal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
issues in polite way. Examples set of parents could
largely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
young minds to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
accountable as they tend to imitate by observing from the environment.

Conclusively
, smacking is
really
a barbaric practice and parents who employ this act should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'penalised' is British English.
penalised
. It’s the parents' responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
wholesome atmosphere at home where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
himself can learn discipline.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Smacking children is the best form of discipline. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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