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Young people these days tend to be less polite and respectful than in the past. Causes and solutions. v.4

Young people these days tend to be less polite and respectful than in the past. Causes and solutions. v. 4
There is a sudden change in the behaviour of the human kind of the 21st century compare to the past as they were disciplined and more generous. However, in the recent time most of the public becomes materialized as a result their behaviour becomes sometime dominating. The essay will discuss the reason for this situation and steps to take to recover it in the following paragraphs. To begin with, the main cause for the change in the attitude of the younger one having a lack of observation and overuse of gadgets which affects detrimental on the child’s mental growth as well. Momentarily, there are many families in which both parents are working. Although, parents are educated and having respectful attitude, their children can behave with their elder one rudely. This will happen only because when the teenager is alone in their home, they watch the TV shows and learn from that. Moreover, parents inculcate their child with the latest electronic gadgets and never think about how they use it and what are the precarious impact of that on the child’s mental status. For example, on the Internet many shows represent the criminal activity such as murder, rape; this will distract the youth's mind and affect their development also. On the other hand, to prevent this unfavourable impact of this fashion will be solved my applying certain precautionary measure. The first prevention steps are that parents must give time to their child nurture and teach them some morel and ethics. Even sometimes they also tell them some mythological stories which helps them to become religious. Furthermore, the government should also make straighten law for the person who behaves impolite with another person. For instance, the authority should also have to bend some of the show which represents offensive activity. In conclusion, having a kind nature person become precious in the entire world. To teach this value in the child is the responsibility of the parents and the government. So the government should have to start some activity which promotes this.
There is a sudden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of the human kind of the 21st century compare to the past as they
were disciplined
and more generous.
However
, in the recent time most of the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
materialized
as a result
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
sometime dominating. The essay will discuss the reason for this situation and steps to take to recover it in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main cause for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the attitude of the younger one having a lack of observation and overuse of gadgets which affects detrimental on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
mental growth
as well
.
Momentarily
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families in which both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are working. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are educated
and having respectful attitude, their children can behave with their elder one
rudely
. This will happen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
is alone in their home, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and learn from that.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
inculcate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
with the latest electronic gadgets and never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it and what are the precarious impact of that on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
mental status.
For example
, on the Internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
represent the criminal activity such as murder, rape; this will distract the youth's mind and affect their development
also
.

On the other hand
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
impact of this fashion will
be solved
my applying certain precautionary measure. The
first
prevention steps are that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
give time to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
nurture and teach them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
morel and ethics. Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mythological stories which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
religious.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
straighten law for the person who behaves impolite with another person.
For instance
, the authority should
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bend
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
which represents offensive activity.

In conclusion
, having a kind nature person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
precious in the entire world. To teach this value in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activity which promotes this.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Young people these days tend to be less polite and respectful than in the past. Causes and solutions. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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