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Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. with today's technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasinly responsible for unemployment. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. with today's technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasinly responsible for unemployment. with this statement? v. 2
Technology enhancements has taken over humans in the work area since last few centuries. Interestingly, modern science is playing a crucial factor in today's world and it is rapidly growing at a pace. Hence, I totally agree with this statement with the advancement of technology leads to unemployment. On the one hand, Modern technology has replaced the manpower in the current generation. Many organizations and industries are choosing latest computer technologies, to easier their work and effort. For Instance, Robots, and other machines are adopting in industries and restaurants. Now-a-days, many restaurants are wishing to adopt robots than humans. Also, It drastically decreases human effort and productivity getting higher. In fact, machines and robots completes work in half of a time than humans. Unfortunately, it leads to more unemployment in the industry work sector. On the other hand, In Today's Modern era, developed technologies are beneficial in many aspects. Especially, In IT Industry with the inventions of computer automation and machinery the workload of employees has made easier on their work environment. Latest softwares and other tools play a vital role and ultimately causing the reduction of labors effort. For Example, all automated drafts and mails will be shared across the orgainsation. Moreover, manual work has taken over from employees and labour hours are reduced with no extra effort. In Conclusion, With the inventions of latest technologies and machinery has cut down the human effort at work place. Hence, technology is emerging over a few centuries and increasing at a higher pace which is the reason it immense the unemployment across all the industries and companies.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
enhancements has taken over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
area since last few centuries.
Interestingly
, modern science is playing a crucial factor in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world and it is
rapidly
growing at a pace.
Hence
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement with the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
leads to unemployment.

On the one hand, Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has replaced the manpower in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
organizations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
are choosing
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, to easier their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
.
For Instance
, Robots, and other machines are adopting in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and restaurants.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
-a-days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
restaurants
The verb 'wishing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are wishing
to adopt robots than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
Also
, It
drastically
decreases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
and productivity getting higher. In fact, machines and robots completes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in half of a time than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. Unfortunately, it leads to more unemployment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
sector.

On the other hand
, In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's Modern era, developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects.
Especially
, In IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Industry
with the inventions of computer automation and machinery the workload of employees has made easier on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment.
A determiner is probably missing here: "the Latest".
Latest
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
and other tools play a vital role and
ultimately
causing the reduction of labors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
.
For Example
, all automated drafts and mails will
be shared
across the
Possible spelling mistake found.
orgainsation
.
Moreover
, manual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
has taken over from employees and
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
hours are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
with no extra effort.

In Conclusion
, With the inventions of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
and machinery has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is emerging over a few centuries and increasing at a higher pace which is the reason
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
immense the unemployment across all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. with today's technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasinly responsible for unemployment. with this statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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