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The 18th century due to industrialization a lot of people migrate to developed countries. This affected lifestyle and increased major problems in developed countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

The 18th century due to industrialization a lot of people migrate to developed countries. This affected lifestyle and increased major problems in developed countries. v. 1
Gone are those days, when the goodwill of a person was judged from the honesty, nature, kindness etc. In today's world the financial position matters the most and is a kind of benchmark to understand the status. Lavish house, luxurious car, bank-balance matters more than the benevolence of a human. I completely disagree with these new parameters of analysing the decency. It is common that when a folk becomes rich, arrogance comes in the nature of that individual. Unwillingly, the behaviour changes and it gets reflected in the actions. As per the recent survey of "The Times", 80% of the wealthy class has not helped anyone because of humanity, they admitted that they helped only if, they get something in return. But unfortunately, these characteristics give more weightage than the most important thing moral character. When a being morally understands the problem of others, he becomes closer to the God. God definitely helps that individual further to grow and succeed in life. In ancient times, the kindness, good heart were the checklist to determine the rank in society. For instance, late Mother Teresa was not wealthy, but a human of golden heart, it was proven in her dedication and work towards the upliftment of everyone around her. People still respect and remember her for all these positive qualities of her. One of the reasons for this change of thought, could be affect of the western culture. Youngsters are blindly following it, and completely ignoring the rich ancient culture. Young generation is not at all interested in reading the holy books, which helps to germinate positive attitude seeds. In conclusion, it is high time for all of us to understand the meaning of life. We must admit that the physical property could be achieved anytime in life by working hard. But, it is very essential to incorporate good habits, as it is too difficult to get rid of them and come back on the correct path.
Gone
are
those days, when the goodwill of a person
was judged
from the honesty, nature, kindness etc. In
today
's world the financial position matters the most and is a kind of benchmark to understand the status. Lavish
house
, luxurious car, bank-balance matters more than the benevolence of a human. I completely disagree with these new parameters of
analysing
the decency.

It is common that when a folk becomes rich, arrogance
comes
in the nature of that individual.
Unwillingly
, the
behaviour
changes
and it
gets
reflected in the actions. As per the recent survey of
"
The Times
"
, 80% of the wealthy
class
has not
helped
anyone
because
of humanity, they admitted that they
helped
only
if, they
get
something in return.
But
unfortunately, these characteristics give more weightage than the most
important
thing moral character. When a being
morally
understands the problem of others, he becomes closer to the God. God definitely
helps
that individual
further
to grow and succeed in life. In ancient times, the kindness,
good
heart were the checklist to determine the rank in society.
For instance
, late Mother Teresa was not wealthy,
but
a human of golden heart, it
was proven
in her dedication and work towards the
upliftment
of everyone around her.
People
still
respect and remember her for all these
positive
qualities of her.

One of the reasons for this
change
of
thought
, could be affect of the western culture. Youngsters are
blindly
following it, and completely ignoring the rich ancient culture. Young generation is not at all interested in reading the holy books, which
helps
to germinate
positive
attitude seeds.

In conclusion
, it is high time for all of us to understand the meaning of life. We
must
admit that the physical property could
be achieved
anytime in life by working
hard
.
But
, it is
very
essential to incorporate
good
habits, as it is too difficult to
get
rid of them and
come
back on the correct path.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay The 18th century due to industrialization a lot of people migrate to developed countries. This affected lifestyle and increased major problems in developed countries. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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