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Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.18

It is often argued that university graduate is necessary for a better career, while, others believe that real-world experience and practical skills are more vital. This essay agrees that life experience and essential skills are crucial for better job opportunities. This essay will firstly, discuss how real-life experiences and essential skills are crucial in workplace and secondly, explain the importance of tertiary education for better job. On the one hand, it is clear that the people with work experience, good personality and interpersonal skills will have better opportunities. The reason being, an employee with good numbers of on-job experience and rich emotional intelligence such as empathy and interpersonal skills can perform better in workplace because they need not have to provide training for particular job by spending huge amount of money. For instance, last year, in one of the private hospitals in Bhutan selected four experienced doctors through open interview from total ten applicants for their hospital. Therefore, experience in relevant field with public relations skills are the leading factor for better employment. On the other hand, some think that university education is required for good and rewarding career. That is to say, it is the third-level education and graduates are treated by the society as one step ahead of others because they were taught various major subjects which are useful for their career. For example, Computer Science students under the Royal University of Bhutan were taught programming languages to develop systems which are useful for high-tech companies. Despite this, relevant work experiences with good interpersonal skills are the priority for employers to select best employee. In conclusion, tertiary education plays an important role in shaping the career of the students; however, this essay agrees that essential human skills and experience is the key for better profession.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that university graduate is necessary for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, while, others believe that real-world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are more vital. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
job opportunities. This essay will
firstly
, discuss how real-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are crucial in workplace and
secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the importance of tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
job.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
personality and interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
opportunities. The reason being, an employee with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
numbers of on-job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and rich emotional intelligence such as empathy and interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
can perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in workplace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
provide training for particular job by spending huge amount of money.
For instance
, last year, in one of the private hospitals in Bhutan selected four experienced doctors through open interview from total ten applicants for their hospital.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in relevant field with public relations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are the leading factor for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
employment.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is required
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and rewarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
That is
to say, it is the third-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and graduates
are treated
by the society as one step ahead of others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
were taught
various major subjects which are useful for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
For example
, Computer Science students under the Royal University of Bhutan
were taught
programming languages to develop systems which are useful for high-tech
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. Despite this, relevant work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are the priority for employers to select best employee.

In conclusion
, tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in shaping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
of the students;
however
, this essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that essential human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is the key for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
profession.
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Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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