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Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today’s technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.3

Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today’s technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. with this statement? v. 3
It is undeniable that the technological advances have enormous impact in the lifestyle of people. Since the last 3 centuries the machineries have been substituting the labour in the market and it has even progressed in the larger scales. However, these developments affect the workplace, but the drawback is not more than the outweigh. It is obvious, that nowadays machineries have been replacing the employment in different sectors and the investors prefer to purchase technological devices in their businesses rather than hiring several unskilled employees who will increase the waste and needs more time to consume. For example, in the Toyota company, the robots produce 100 vehicles per day and these robots are working accurately and fast. If we compare the impact of robots with human resources, then we can easily understand that the labour cannot produce as much precise and fast as the technology can. So, it will be more profitable for investor to replace employees with machineries. From the other side, the technological advances are depending on human resources and it is employees who lead this advancement. The machineries only occupied in the production industries and mainly affected this part of companies. In the other business sectors such as services, transport, and construction, we need for human resources to lead the business by using technology. Instance, it is engineers who should draw the maps of buildings. In the same vein, we need employees who do the other administrative tasks. I am agreeing for the technological advancement as it was bringing so many comforts in our lives. To conclude, considering the advantage and disadvantage of technological advancement, the outweigh is more then drawback.
It is undeniable that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
advances have enormous impact in the lifestyle of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Since the last 3 centuries the
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
have been substituting the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
in the market and it has even progressed in the larger scales.
However
, these developments affect the workplace,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the drawback is not more than
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'outweigh' is correct. If 'outweigh' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the outweigh
.

It is obvious, that nowadays
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
have been replacing the employment in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors and the investors prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
devices in their businesses
rather
than hiring several unskilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
will increase the waste and needs more time to consume.
For example
, in the Toyota
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, the robots produce 100 vehicles per day and these robots are working
accurately
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. If we compare the impact of robots with human resources, then we can
easily
understand that the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
cannot produce as much precise and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as the technology can.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it will be more profitable for investor to replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
.

From the other side, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
advances
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are depending
on human resources and it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
lead this advancement. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
occupied in the production industries and
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
this part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. In the other business sectors such as services, transport, and construction, we need for human resources to lead the business by using technology. Instance, it is engineers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
should draw the maps of buildings. In the same vein, we need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do the other administrative tasks. I
The verb 'agreeing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
am agreeing
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
advancement as it was bringing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
comforts in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To conclude
, considering the advantage and disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
advancement,
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'outweigh' is correct. If 'outweigh' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the outweigh
is more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
drawback.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today’s technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. with this statement? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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