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Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today’s technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today’s technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. with this statement? v. 1
Technological advancement is a boon to any country, but this also results in people getting hard to get the jobs. Hence, they remain unemployed. No doubt technology has made work easier at many workplaces, for example, in factories, most of the work is done by the machines, so there are no more pains for labourers. But, in the other service industries like courier and telegram, email has a massive impact on these areas of work. Moreover, in most of the developed countries, robots and machines are used in various places to substitute humans, this has resulted in depreciation in employment rates. Hence, the state gains the tag of the highest unemployed rate, though it is doing economically well. In my opinion, technology has taken over for our good, and there are various examples we can look into to prove it correct. Many service industries like banks are using computers to keep the information on their databases, and this helps them to remember every case. Therefore the instances of fraud are reduced; they no more require pen and paper to note down everything. Furthermore, now we can send emails and texts to people in no time and get responses immediately. However, in the past, we had to wait for days to get the replies. Also, people now can work from home, which helps them to travel less and concentrate on work more. In a nutshell, technology plays a pivotal role in our lives, though it has reduced employment in the fewer industry but improved the work in many industries.
Technological advancement is a boon to any country,
but
this
also
results in
people
getting
hard
to
get
the jobs.
Hence
, they remain unemployed. No doubt technology has made
work
easier at
many
workplaces,
for example
, in factories, most of the
work
is done
by the machines,
so
there are no more pains for
labourers
.
But
, in the other service
industries
like courier and telegram, email has a massive impact on these areas of
work
.
Moreover
, in most of the
developed countries
, robots and machines are
used
in various places to substitute humans, this has resulted in depreciation in employment rates.
Hence
, the state gains the tag of the highest unemployed rate, though it is doing
economically
well.

In my opinion, technology has taken over for our
good
, and there are various examples we can look into to prove it correct.
Many
service
industries
like banks are using computers to
keep
the information on their databases, and this
helps
them to remember every case.
Therefore
the instances of fraud are
reduced
; they no more require pen and paper to note down everything.
Furthermore
,
now
we can
send
emails and texts to
people
in no time and
get
responses immediately.
However
, in the past, we had to wait for days to
get
the replies.
Also
,
people
now
can
work
from home, which
helps
them to travel less and concentrate on
work
more.

In a nutshell, technology plays a pivotal role in our
lives
, though it has
reduced
employment in the fewer
industry
but
improved
the
work
in
many
industries
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today’s technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
258 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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