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Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth with poorer nations by providing them with things such as food and education? Or is this the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens? v.1

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth with poorer nations by providing them with things such as food and education? Or is this the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens? v. 1
Our world is a very diverse place, and not always in a good way. There is a huge disproportion in terms of wealth and resources across different countries, and this state of affairs raises the question of whether richer nations should aid those less fortunate or rather let them fight their battle for themselves. On the one hand, giving poor countries food, resources or money without getting anything in return, such as goods or services, is bound to remove any motivation for them to develop and to do something to improve their situation. This may create a vicious circle, similar to the common problem where some unemployed people abuse the welfare system by not even trying to find a job. This concern is one of the top reasons why some are convinced that it is the governments of poorer nations who should be responsible for the well-being of their citizens. On the other hand, many people believe that helping countries that suffer from poverty is a moral duty and can benefit both rich and poor nations by making the world a better place. They argue that the right type of aid, first of all, education, gives poor countries a chance to get back on their feet and start changing for the better. The question of whether the charity is a good approach to dealing with poverty has always been a matter of debate. Personally, I think that although wealthy nations should not be obliged to help the poorer ones, it seems like the right thing to do. Apart from humanitarian reasons, it can also bring about some political and economic benefits to the donors as they are creating a foundation for future cooperation and potential trade.
Our world is a
very
diverse place, and not always in a
good
way. There is a huge disproportion in terms of wealth and resources across
different
countries
, and this state of affairs raises
the question of whether
richer
nations
should aid those less fortunate or
rather
let
them fight their battle for themselves.

On the one hand, giving poor
countries
food, resources or money without getting anything in return, such as
goods
or services,
is bound
to remove any motivation for them to develop and to do something to
improve
their situation. This may create a vicious circle, similar to the common problem where
some
unemployed
people
abuse the welfare system by not even trying to find a job. This concern is one of the top reasons why
some
are convinced
that it is the
governments
of poorer
nations
who should be responsible for the well-being of their citizens.

On the other hand
,
many
people
believe that helping
countries
that suffer from poverty is a moral duty and can benefit both rich and poor
nations
by making the world a better place. They argue that the right type of aid,
first of all
, education, gives poor
countries
a chance to
get
back on their feet and
start
changing for the better.
The question of whether
the charity is a
good
approach to dealing with poverty has always been a matter of debate.

Personally
, I
think
that although wealthy
nations
should not
be obliged
to
help
the poorer ones, it seems like the right thing to do. Apart from humanitarian reasons, it can
also
bring about
some
political and economic benefits to the donors as they are creating a foundation for future cooperation and potential trade.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth with poorer nations by providing them with things such as food and education? Or is this the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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