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Some people say that schools do not do enough to teach young people about health. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people say that schools do not do enough to teach young people about health. v. 3
There is a lingering debate over whether schools are enough to give kids lessons on the topic of health. Some people consider schools do not have well-trained teachers and proper equipment to teach the youth about health. To see if this practice should be considered, we need to take numerous perspectives into account. There is no difficulty in understanding why some people argue that schools are not capable of offering students courses about health. Due to insufficient well-trained teachers, it is hard to teach kids the right concepts of how to lead a healthy life. If unprofessional teachers give students lessons on health, this impedes kids from learning since the class may include some fault concepts. Furthermore, some schools lack proper equipment or teaching resources. Students will find it challenging to realize the core concepts of health since assistant tools, such as visual aids or medical facilities, contribute to better learning effectiveness. On the other side, we cannot be blinded by disadvantages because still many advantages are worth noticing. To begin with, physical education provided by schools enhances kids body strength. Students may recognize that exercise benefits the body health in significant ways. Not only does it eliminate the toxin out of the body, but it also increases stamina to perform vigorous activities. Furthermore, schools will teach kids some basic concepts. For instance, students should wash their hands before eating, or if contacting cold, they should wear a mask to protect themselves and others. Also, some schools offer nutritious meals, such as green vegetables, dry fruits, and lean meat, in school. Kids will better realize what kinds of food is wholesome. Despite some arguments about schools do not arm with proper teaching sources about health and well-trained teachers; however, from my perspective, I believe schools can teach students about health as offering physical education, teaching some basic knowledge, and giving a wholesome diet.
There is a lingering debate over whether
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schools
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
lessons on the topic of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
do not have well-trained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and proper equipment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
the youth about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
if this practice should
be considered
, we need to take numerous perspectives into account.

There is no difficulty in understanding why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are not capable of offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
courses about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Due to insufficient well-trained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concepts
of how to lead a healthy life. If unprofessional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
lessons on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, this impedes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
from learning since the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
may include
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fault
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concepts
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
lack proper equipment or teaching resources.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
will find it challenging to realize the core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concepts
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
since assistant tools, such as visual aids or medical facilities, contribute to better learning effectiveness.

On the other side, we cannot
be blinded
by disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages are worth noticing. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, physical education provided by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
enhances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
body strength.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
may recognize that exercise benefits the body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in significant ways. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it eliminate the toxin out of the body,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
increases stamina to perform vigorous activities.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concepts
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should wash their hands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
eating, or if contacting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
, they should wear a mask to protect themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
offer nutritious meals, such as green vegetables, dry fruits, and lean meat, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Kids
will better realize what kinds of food is wholesome.

Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
do not arm with proper teaching sources about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and well-trained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
;
however
, from my perspective, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
as offering physical education, teaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic knowledge, and giving a wholesome diet.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some people say that schools do not do enough to teach young people about health. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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