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Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves? v.5

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves? v. 5
Although most people believe that an organized group classes are excellent for a child’s growth, there are some people who think leaving the planning of the schedule to the adolescents would be a better idea. This essay agrees to the fact that classes specially planned for the young ones are outstanding for their knowledge and skill advancement. In a recent research conducted in the United states, It was found that a young mind develops at much faster rates when it is working under a competitive environment. Organized group classes such as poetry, Quiz classes and cricket coaching helps the youngsters to gain a sense of competitiveness. Learning skills in a cutthroat environment provide them a motivation to promote themselves to the next level. The lessons in these classes tell the student where he is standing at a particular time if compared to the others. On the other hand, at some situations, parents should allow their children to plan their timetable. For instance a juvenile should know which activity should be taken up in the evening when he has an ample amount of free time. However, a precise check on them is required as they might not be wise enough to differentiate between the good and evil. A supervision is a must from the guardians end to make the things positive. In conclusion, an organized classes are a better strategy for the adolescents. Equipping them with the authority to make decisions for themselves might end up in a negative outcome. Moreover, keeping an eye over them is difficult for the working parent.
Although most
people
believe that an organized group
classes
are excellent for a child’s growth, there are
some
people
who
think
leaving the planning of the schedule to the adolescents would be a better
idea
. This essay
agrees
to the fact that
classes
specially
planned for the young ones are outstanding for their knowledge and
skill
advancement.

In a recent research conducted in the
United states
, It
was found
that a young mind develops at much faster rates when it is working under a competitive environment. Organized group
classes
such as poetry, Quiz
classes
and cricket coaching
helps
the youngsters to gain a sense of competitiveness. Learning
skills
in a cutthroat environment provide them a motivation to promote themselves to the
next
level. The lessons in these
classes
tell
the student where he is standing at a particular time if compared to the others.

On the other hand
, at
some
situations, parents should
allow
their children to plan their timetable.
For instance
a juvenile should know which activity should
be taken
up in the evening when he has an ample amount of free time.
However
, a precise
check
on them
is required
as they might not be wise
enough
to differentiate between the
good
and evil. A supervision is a
must
from the guardians
end
to
make
the things
positive
.

In conclusion
, an organized
classes
are a better strategy for the adolescents. Equipping them with the authority to
make
decisions for themselves might
end
up in a
negative
outcome.
Moreover
, keeping an eye over them is difficult for the working parent.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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