Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the government of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves? v.4

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the government of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves? v. 4
Two main streams of education option that exist for children are homeschooling and attending a regular school. Some people believe homeschooling provides the best for their children. While others feel it is very critical for the children to attend a regular school. In this essay, we will look into the advantages of both the views and the reasons why I think it is important for the children to attend a regular school. In homeschooling, The teaching curriculum could be tailor made. Also, the pace of learning could also be altered based on the learning speed of the child. Since there is no school or an institute to dictate the curriculum, content could be chosen exclusively based on the child's interest. For example, most homeschooled children in the USA are provided with the content after analysing their interest and learning capacity. In addition, the pace of learning could be altered at any time. Because they are not controlled by anyone. For instance, they could study all the content in 6 months. Custom made content and variable pace of learning motivates people to home school the children. On the other hand, there are two main advantages in children going to school. The first one is the development of social and life skills. Going to school with other children forces the child to interact with others, thereby learning to build relationships. For example, being with other children provides the opportunity to develop friendships that may last a lifetime. The second advantage is it teaches them to plan and to be organized. For example, children have to plan to be on time before the school starts, and also learn to move between classrooms for each subject. Hence, attending school teaches important life skills like socializing and planning which would help greatly in child's development. In conclusion, Attending school is very important for developing social and life skills. Every child should be provided with the option to attend the school.
Two main streams of education option that exist for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are homeschooling and attending a regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe homeschooling provides the best for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. While others feel it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
critical for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to attend a regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In this essay, we will look into the advantages of both the views and the reasons why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to attend a regular school.

In homeschooling, The teaching curriculum could be
Consider using a past participle here: "tailored".
tailor
made.
Also
, the pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
could
also
be altered
based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
speed of the child. Since there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or an institute to dictate the curriculum,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
could
be chosen
exclusively based on the child's interest.
For example
, most homeschooled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the USA
are provided
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
their interest and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
capacity.
In addition
, the pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
could
be altered
at any time.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
they are not controlled by anyone.
For instance
, they could study all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
in 6 months.
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Custom made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
and variable pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
motivates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
the children.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are two main advantages in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. The
first
one is the development of social and life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
forces the child to interact with others, thereby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to build relationships.
For example
, being with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
provides the opportunity to develop friendships that may last a lifetime. The second advantage is it teaches them to plan and to
be organized
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
plan to be on time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
, and
also
learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
between classrooms for each subject.
Hence
, attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
teaches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like socializing and planning which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
greatly
in child's development.

In conclusion
, Attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for developing social and life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Every child should
be provided
with the option to attend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the government of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts