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Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the government of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves? v.6

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the government of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves? v. 6
Nation means a large aggregate of people united by common descent, history, culture, or language, inhabiting a particular country or territory. This explains most of the things one nation should possess. If you are saying you have one nation and unfortunately poor, in my opinion, there is no need of then to ask for any kind of help from other countries or nations. wealthy nations should not share their wealth among poorer nations. Its government of poorer nation should take care of themselves. Nation involves many people which can come together to solve this problem by giving each other proper solutions. Wealthy countries have not become rich in one day its a long time process but by proper organizations makes them special. Firstly, I would like to explain problems in poorer countries like lack of education, scams and frauds in country, growing population and lack of ability to know their own power and so many. That brings to my mind, many countries which have natural resources like water or oil under the earth, they use these sources as a money tree. By exporting oil to many nations have become rich. for example, united nations of Arab prospered after making deals with other nations by selling them oil. if you take an example of Tibet, they have build dams over the rivers and producing sufficient electric power for their own country and after use they r selling it to other near by countries, so that keeps countries growth constant. its governments responsibility to do research about natural resources and how to use them. Secondly, among many problems there is one which we can not neglect is lack of education. In this modern world, when we are talking about wealthy countries, we need to see how they have reach to this position and constantly growing? In this point, first thing education should be free in poorer countries and second everybody should know importance of education. Illiteracy is important factor of poorer countries which are becoming more poor. Citizens should abide to take education and become a part of growth of the nation. For example, in India there are many plans by government which are really helpful for poor people who can not afford education. And subsidies which can help to start own business gives financial help for new starter. As we see furthermore, now a days people are becoming more self centered. To get extra money they are taking bribes and giving bribes. Frauds and scams have become a common thing among some poor nations government should take care of these kind of problems and put them behind the bars who are committing these crimes. This tendency of cheating leads rich people to become more rich by possessing black money and poor people more poor and society has no collaboration due to financial gap. Becoming wealthy country is not a responsibility of just government but all citizens should participate in this process. It takes long time to become prospers country by hard work and continous growth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nation
means a large aggregate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
united by common descent, history, culture, or language, inhabiting a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or territory. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
most of the things one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
should possess. If you are saying you have one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and unfortunately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
, in my opinion, there is no need of then to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
any kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should not share their wealth among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. Its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
should take care of themselves.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nation
involves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
by giving each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
proper solutions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
in one day
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
a long time process
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by proper organizations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them special.

Firstly
, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, scams and frauds in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, growing population and lack of ability to know their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
power and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. That brings to my mind,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which have natural resources like water or oil under the earth, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these sources as a money tree. By exporting oil to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, united
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
of Arab prospered after making deals with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
by selling them oil.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
you take an example of Tibet, they have build dams over the rivers and producing sufficient electric power for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
they r selling it to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Did you mean "nearby"?
near by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
growth constant.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
responsibility to do research about natural resources and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them.

Secondly
, among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
there is one which we can not neglect is lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. In this modern world, when we are talking about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how they have reach to this position and
constantly
growing? In this point,
first
thing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be free in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and second everybody should know importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Illiteracy is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are becoming more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. Citizens should abide to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a part of growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
For example
, in India there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
plans by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
which are
really
helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can not afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. And subsidies which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business gives financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for new starter.

As we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
furthermore
,
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming more self centered. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
extra money they are taking bribes and giving bribes. Frauds and scams have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a common thing among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "nations'" or "nation's"?
nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take care of
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and put them behind the bars who are committing these crimes. This tendency of cheating leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
by possessing black money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
and society has no collaboration due to financial gap.

Becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is not a responsibility of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
all citizens should participate in this process. It takes long time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
prospers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and
Possible spelling mistake found.
continous
growth.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
77Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the government of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves? v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
504 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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