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“All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone. ” To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.1

“All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone. ” v. 1
Education and healthcare are essential to everyday life, development and growth. This statement has been discussed by many, with many opinions arising from articles across the internet. In my opinion, it is quite disappointing that in most developed countries, these are not free of charge. I agree with this statement to a large extent as these two words are often thought of as something very basic and accessible to all, yet not without price. Firstly, education should not be defined by what social class you are in, but how hard you have worked throughout your study life to get into your chosen field. For example, someone from a lower class background may be motivated to do better than one from a higher class background, as having been brought up in less fortunate conditions may have inspired them to pursue education to its fullest extent. This would not be possible if the lower class lacked the monetary situation to attend a University or College of their choice, to achieve a degree in the area they wish to further work in. Secondly, Article 26 of the United Nations Declaration of Human Rights enshrines the right to education for all, stating ‘Everyone has the right to education’. This clause has been ignored by many low-income countries, but has been adhered to by mostly all of the developed countries in Europe, and the United States. Despite this historic agreement, lots of the countries discussed have fallen short of providing higher education free of charge, and so limiting residents of the country to just a primary certificate of education. Healthcare, similar to education, is a basic need for living. Healthcare is often regarded as a fundamental service to all, however as before, not without paying. I strongly believe everyone should at the very least have the basic necessities to continue living, including healthcare. The governments of many countries have the money to make healthcare free for all, yet simply choose not to. I think this is very unfair to people in the lower, and middle classes. They could not afford the price of an operation, or medicine, and be forced to fight through the illness, whilst people in the higher class buy the medicine and are free from the illness. In conclusion, after the points raised, I agree with the statement to a large extent, as healthcare and education have become basic needs of today’s society, and I expect them to be free nowadays. Regardless of social class; everyone has the right to a free, extensive education and healthcare.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
and healthcare are essential to everyday life, development and growth. This statement has
been discussed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opinions arising from articles across the internet. In my opinion, it is quite disappointing that in most developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, these are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of charge. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement to a large extent as these two words are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of as something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
and accessible to all,
yet
not without price.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should not
be defined
by what social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
you are in,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
you have worked throughout your study life to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into your chosen field.
For example
, someone from a lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
background may
be motivated
to do better than one from a higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
background, as having
been brought
up in less fortunate conditions may have inspired them to pursue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to its fullest extent. This would not be possible if the lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
lacked the monetary situation to attend a University or College of their choice, to achieve a degree in the area they wish to
further
work in.

Secondly
, Article 26 of the United Nations Declaration of Human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rights
enshrines the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for all, stating ‘Everyone has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education’
. This clause has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
low-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has
been adhered
to by
mostly
Consider using "all the".
all of the
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in Europe, and the United States. Despite this historic agreement, lots of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
discussed have fallen short of providing higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of charge, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
limiting residents of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a primary certificate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Healthcare, similar to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
need for living. Healthcare is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
regarded as a fundamental service to all,
however
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, not without paying. I
strongly
believe everyone should at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
least have the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
to continue living, including healthcare. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have the money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
healthcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
for all,
yet
simply
choose not to. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unfair to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the lower, and middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. They could not afford the price of an operation, or medicine, and
be forced
to fight through the illness, whilst
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the medicine and are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
from the illness.

In conclusion
, after the points raised, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement to a large extent, as healthcare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
have become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
needs of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
them to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
nowadays. Regardless of social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
; everyone has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
, extensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and healthcare.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay “All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone. ” v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
424 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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