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Should the government or teachers be responsible for what is to be taught in schools? Give a reason for your answer from your knowledge or experience. v.1

Should the government or teachers be responsible for what is to be taught in schools? Give a reason for your answer from your knowledge or experience. v. 1
Education is in the hands of teachers and also on the ruling authority of a nation. I agree that up to certain extent government has a significant role in the content of schooling, but it makes the teachers outshine when it comes to what should be taught in the academics. Here we will have a glance at content of teaching, role of tutors and government in the education system. Teachers have a vital role in educating students, they follow a structure designed by education authority and have curriculums to follow, within an allotted time limit they have to deliver sufficient knowledge on a general basis, but but a child with a liking towards swimming if nurtured with a result oriented techniques, enhances his skills and gives the opportunity to take swimming as a mainstream career and fetch him an outstanding result, likewise an individual with good communication skills can make his career as a news reader or a radio jockey. Furthermore respective subject tutors ought to develop students with appropriate information in order to get favourable results. . The government on the other hand has devised a structure on the basis of mass production and not on individual talent, as it is not possible for them to hunt a specific talent. It has to regulate the vast number of schools of the nation nevertheless can provide with special facilities for teachers to cope with emerging talents, But ultimately it's the teachers who have to carry out the remaining task of imparting desired subject. So I reckon that, teachers with a benefit of direct access to the students’ development have certain merits in bringing out the hidden ability of a candidate and developing them. Thus making them accountable for what is supposed to be conveyed in schools.
Education is in the hands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
also
on the ruling authority of a nation. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that up to certain extent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has a significant role in the content of schooling,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
outshine when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to what should
be taught
in the academics. Here we will have a glance at content of teaching, role of tutors and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in the education system.

Teachers have a vital role in educating students, they follow a structure designed by education authority and have curriculums to follow, within an allotted time limit they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deliver sufficient knowledge on a general basis,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a child with a liking towards swimming if nurtured with a result oriented techniques, enhances his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and gives the opportunity to take swimming as a mainstream career and fetch him an outstanding result,
likewise
an individual with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
his career as a news reader or a radio jockey.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
respective subject tutors ought to develop students with appropriate information in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
results.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
on the other hand
has devised a structure on the basis of mass production and not on individual talent, as it is not possible for them to hunt a specific talent. It
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
regulate the vast number of schools of the nation
nevertheless
can provide with special facilities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to cope with emerging talents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
ultimately
it's the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carry out the remaining task of imparting desired subject.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I reckon that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
with a benefit of direct access to the students’ development have certain merits in bringing out the hidden ability of a candidate and developing them.
Thus
making them accountable for what
is supposed
to
be conveyed
in schools.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Should the government or teachers be responsible for what is to be taught in schools? Give a reason for your answer from your knowledge or experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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