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In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. v.4

In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 4
While, in some part of the world, high school students prefer to develop practical knowledge and others take the regular classes to learn the basic general knowledge. In my opinion, schools ought to teach them general subjects rather than practical skills that would be appropriate to their age. On the one hand, students in some region, within the age of 11 to 13, who opt to go for general academics rather than practical, will have better future, which I agree. In other words, by covering all the main subjects in their pre secondary period, pupil will have an overall understanding rather than a particular skill. For example, various subjects like English, mathematics, and other regional languages cannot be avoided in the early stage of education because it gives base to acquire further level of knowledge, especially practical skills which are required for any job. On the other hand, students have a strong thought that by choosing practice oriented curriculum will help them to get a job easily in the future. In my view, this misconception should be corrected by teachers because it is not going to benefit them in their professional career. In other words, in order to use the practical skills, the must understand the basics from the root level. Moreover, learning vocational syllabus will be more effective if it is taught in the higher secondary schools or at the degree level of education. In conclusion, despite practice based educational system, schools should provide basic lessons which will be help them to acquire other levels of education in the coming stages of their student life.
While, in
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some
part of the world, high
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school
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students
prefer to develop
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practical
knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
take the regular classes to learn the basic general knowledge. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
ought to teach them general subjects
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that would be appropriate to their age.

On the one hand,
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students
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
region, within the age of 11 to 13, who opt to go for general academics
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
, will have better future, which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. In
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other
words, by covering all the main subjects in their
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pre
secondary period, pupil will have an
overall
understanding
rather
than a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
.
For example
, various subjects like English, mathematics, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
regional languages cannot
be avoided
in the early stage of education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives base to acquire
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of knowledge,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which
are required
for any job.

On the
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other
hand,
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students
have a strong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that by choosing practice oriented curriculum will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job
easily
in the future. In my view, this misconception should
be corrected
by teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is not going to benefit them in their professional career. In
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other
words, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
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practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
Did you mean "they", "that" or "there"?
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
understand the basics from the root
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
.
Moreover
, learning vocational syllabus will be more effective if it
is taught
in the higher secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
or at the degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of education.

In conclusion
, despite practice based educational system,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should provide basic lessons which will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of education in the coming stages of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
life.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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