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Should the government impose a heavy tax on private car owners to improve the public transportation system to reduce the traffic problem in many cities? v.1

Should the government impose a heavy tax on private car owners to improve the public transportation system to reduce the traffic problem in many cities? v. 1
With the growing population all over the world, many cities are facing too much traffic problems including pollution and congestion. One of the solutions to this problem is the setting of a new tax to car owners. In return, this money could be used to improve public transports and roads. This essay will discuss advantages and disadvantages of this solution. First of all, the fact to tax private car owners heavily might deter plenty of drivers and car owners using their own vehicles and make them use more public transports in their city. The setting of this new tax could lead to a decrease of congestion and pollution issues. Furthermore, the harvested money from this new law will be used to remove less efficient and old transports and improve the degree of safety within the city. Indeed, we all know that a lot of people are afraid of public transports at night because of their lack of security. An improvement on this field can encourage other habitats to use public transportation. However, such a tax also contains disadvantages. Some inhabitants will not agree with this new law because it is another amount to pay at the end of the month. Besides, some people have no choice but to use their own cars to get to their working place which sometimes is located outside the cities where public transports are not available. It will also bring problems for those who live in the countryside and work in cities. To conclude, taxing private car owners could be a solution to the congestion and pollution problems by encouraging the use of public transports and imposing taxes only to rich populations who live in the city area would be a better solution, in my opinion.
With the growing population all over the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are facing too much traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
including pollution and congestion. One of the solutions to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is the setting of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
. In return, this money could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
and roads. This essay will discuss advantages and disadvantages of this solution.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the fact to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
heavily
might deter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of drivers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
in their city. The setting of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
could lead to a decrease of congestion and pollution issues.

Furthermore
, the harvested money from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
law will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to remove less efficient and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the degree of safety within the city.
Indeed
, we all know that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are afraid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
at night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their lack of security. An improvement on this field can encourage other habitats to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation.

However
, such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
also
contains disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
inhabitants will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
law
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is another amount to pay at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the month.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to their working place which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
is located
outside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
are not available. It will
also
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the countryside and work in cities.

To conclude
, taxing private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
could be a solution to the congestion and pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by encouraging the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
and imposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to rich populations who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the city area would be a better solution, in my opinion.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Should the government impose a heavy tax on private car owners to improve the public transportation system to reduce the traffic problem in many cities? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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