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In order to solve traffic problem, government should tax private car owners heavily and use that money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? v.1

In order to solve traffic problem, government should tax private car owners heavily and use that money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? v. 1
Congestion is a main issue in all big cities. Some people think that government should tax private car owners in order to improve public transportation and diminish the traffic problem. In this essay we will discuss why taxing private car owners is not a solution. To begin with, being a commuter is not possible for everyone. Indeed, some workers begin their jobs very early making the use of public transportation difficult or even impossible. For instance, a baker needs to begin preparing bread at dusk and will not be able to arrive at work by public transportation, because, in most cities they do not ride at that time of the day. Secondly, a great amount of citizens lives far away from their company, for many reasons like buying a house is cheaper or because they want to enjoy the quiet of the suburbs. They made that choice to enjoy their life, and by making them using the public transportation, they will waste their time on it and not enjoying quality time with their families. On the other hand, government needs to find a way to improve public transportation and make them more effective. Many people living in the cities could abandon their habit of riding their private car and using public transport if they would get subsidised by the government or received a pay increment from their employers. To sum up, I disagree that government should overtax private car owners because the richer will once again benefit from a two-speed system letting less wealthy people struggling with public transportation problems
Congestion is a main issue in all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owners in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and diminish the traffic problem. In this essay we will discuss why taxing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owners is not a solution.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, being a commuter is not possible for everyone.
Indeed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
their jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early making the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
difficult or even impossible.
For instance
, a baker needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
preparing bread at dusk and will not be able to arrive at work by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, in most cities they do not ride at that time of the day.
Secondly
, a great amount of citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
far away from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons like buying a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is cheaper or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to enjoy the quiet of the suburbs. They made that choice to enjoy their life, and by making them using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
, they will waste their time on it and not enjoying quality time with their families.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
needs to find a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more effective.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in the cities could abandon their habit of riding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport if they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidised' is British English.
subsidised
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or received a pay increment from their employers.

To sum up, I disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should overtax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the richer will once again benefit from a two-speed system letting less wealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
struggling with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
problems
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay In order to solve traffic problem, government should tax private car owners heavily and use that money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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