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In order to solve traffic problem, government should tax private car owners heavily and use that money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? v.1

In order to solve traffic problem, government should tax private car owners heavily and use that money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? v. 1
Congestion is a main issue in all big cities. Some people think that government should tax private car owners in order to improve public transportation and diminish the traffic problem. In this essay we will discuss why taxing private car owners is not a solution. To begin with, being a commuter is not possible for everyone. Indeed, some workers begin their jobs very early making the use of public transportation difficult or even impossible. For instance, a baker needs to begin preparing bread at dusk and will not be able to arrive at work by public transportation, because, in most cities they do not ride at that time of the day. Secondly, a great amount of citizens lives far away from their company, for many reasons like buying a house is cheaper or because they want to enjoy the quiet of the suburbs. They made that choice to enjoy their life, and by making them using the public transportation, they will waste their time on it and not enjoying quality time with their families. On the other hand, government needs to find a way to improve public transportation and make them more effective. Many people living in the cities could abandon their habit of riding their private car and using public transport if they would get subsidised by the government or received a pay increment from their employers. To sum up, I disagree that government should overtax private car owners because the richer will once again benefit from a two-speed system letting less wealthy people struggling with public transportation problems
Congestion is a main issue in all
big
cities.
Some
people
think
that
government
should tax
private
car
owners in order to
improve
public
transportation
and diminish the traffic problem. In this essay we will discuss why taxing
private
car
owners is not a solution.

To
begin
with, being a commuter is not possible for everyone.
Indeed
,
some
workers
begin
their jobs
very
early making the
use
of
public
transportation
difficult or even impossible.
For instance
, a baker needs to
begin
preparing bread at dusk and will not be able to arrive at work by
public
transportation
,
because
, in most cities they do not ride at that time of the day.
Secondly
, a great amount of citizens
lives
far away from their
company
, for
many
reasons like buying a
house
is cheaper or
because
they want to enjoy the quiet of the suburbs. They made that choice to enjoy their life, and by making them using the
public
transportation
, they will waste their time on it and not enjoying quality time with their families.

On the other hand
,
government
needs to find a way to
improve
public
transportation
and
make
them more effective.
Many
people
living in the cities could abandon their habit of riding their
private
car
and using
public
transport if they would
get
subsidised
by the
government
or received a pay increment from their employers.

To sum up, I disagree that
government
should overtax
private
car
owners
because
the richer will once again benefit from a two-speed system letting less wealthy
people
struggling with
public
transportation
problems
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In order to solve traffic problem, government should tax private car owners heavily and use that money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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