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Should private schools receive government funding? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

Should private schools receive government funding? v. 2
In countries such as Australia, there are two types of schools for primary and secondary students: public (government) schools and private schools. Private schools still typically receive funding from the government, something I believe is wrong and should end immediately. The first reason government funding to private schools should be discontinued is simple fairness. Private schools already receive a great deal of money from their tuition fees, not to mention the large donations they are often given by wealthy alumni. To add government money to this is patently unfair to public schools, who often struggle to pay for materials and quality teachers. Secondly, private schools should not receive money because they are not subject to the same controls as public institutions. They might teach subjects that go against the public interest, and many religious private schools discriminate against students who do not practise their religion. They should not, therefore, receive money that comes from taxpayers. Finally, I believe that giving money to private schools is likely to lead to the erosion of the public system. Parents naturally want the best for their children, and so they will fight to send them to private schools that have more resources. In the end it may be impossible for the government to maintain the public school system, which would be a disaster for poorer families. In conclusion, I feel very. , strongly that the funds which go to private schools would be better used if they went towards improving the quality of our public schools, many of which are greatly in need.
In countries such as Australia, there are two types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
for primary and secondary students:
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public
(
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
)
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schools
and
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private
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schools
.
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Private
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schools
still
typically
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receive
funding from the
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government
, something I believe is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end


immediately.

The
first
reason
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government
funding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
be discontinued
is simple fairness.
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Private
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schools
already
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receive
a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from their tuition fees, not to mention the large donations they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by wealthy alumni. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to this is
patently
unfair to
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public
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schools
, who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
struggle to pay for materials and quality teachers.

Secondly
,
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private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should not
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receive
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money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not subject to the same controls as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
institutions. They might teach subjects that go against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
interest, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
religious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
discriminate against students who do not
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
their religion. They should not,
therefore
,
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receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from taxpayers.

Finally
, I believe that giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is likely to lead to the erosion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
system. Parents
naturally
want the best for their children, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will fight to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
that have more resources. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
it may be impossible for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
system, which would be a disaster for poorer families.

In conclusion
, I feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
strongly
that the funds which go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
would be better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
if they went towards improving the quality of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of which are
greatly
in need.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Should private schools receive government funding? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
259 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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