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It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
The world we live in is unknown to many but due to the advent in technology, it is made possible to travel to remote locations. Several fields like research and tourism may add to its advantageous side. However, as the risk of climate change is involved, I firmly believe that a neutral approach should be followed in order to maintain a good atmosphere for everyone. To begin with, a plethora of cogent reasons prove to beneficial for knowing mankind and nature to a greater extent. Firstly, the forests which were hidden from the eyes of the scientist can now study the different aspects of species. Secondly, places like South pole can be analysed to get better insights about the characteristics of Earth. For instance, a group of researchers from the US, stayed in Antarctica for 6 months to study the causes of depletion of the ozone layer eventually leading to a staggering knowledge. Finally, tourists who have a deep feeling of wanderlust or those who want to have a thrilling experience would be benefited the most. On the other hand, we must not pollute the very land we live in. With an increase in visitors in these regions, our environment would not be in safe grips. Furthermore, a significant amount of people would poison the biosphere which may guide to catastrophic events like weather modification, global warming and many others. To exemplify, in Kedarnath, due to an increased volume of people high pressure was created thus resulting in heavy rainfall and floods. To sum up, I strongly opine in the fact that although there is a dire need for understanding certain areas properly yet it cannot be denied that it should be protected at all cost for the human race to survive so as a whole, only a limited number should be permitted to sustain the beauty of nature.
The world we
live
in is unknown to
many
but
due to the advent in technology, it
is made
possible to travel to remote locations. Several fields like research and tourism may
add
to its advantageous side.
However
, as the
risk
of climate
change
is involved
, I
firmly
believe that a neutral approach should
be followed
in order to maintain a
good
atmosphere for everyone.

To
begin
with, a plethora of cogent reasons prove to beneficial for knowing mankind and nature to a greater extent.
Firstly
, the forests which
were hidden
from the eyes of the scientist can
now
study the
different
aspects of species.
Secondly
, places like
South pole
can be
analysed
to
get
better insights about the characteristics of Earth.
For instance
, a group of researchers from the US, stayed in Antarctica for 6 months to study the causes of depletion of the ozone layer
eventually
leading to
a staggering knowledge
.
Finally
, tourists who have a deep feeling of wanderlust or those who want to have a thrilling experience would
be benefited
the most.

On the other hand
, we
must
not pollute the
very
land we
live
in. With an increase in visitors in these regions, our environment would not be in safe grips.
Furthermore
, a significant amount of
people
would poison the biosphere which may guide to catastrophic
events
like weather modification, global warming and
many
others. To exemplify, in
Kedarnath
, due to an increased volume of
people
high pressure
was created
thus
resulting in heavy rainfall and floods.

To sum up, I
strongly
opine in the fact that although there is a dire need for understanding certain areas
properly
yet
it cannot
be denied
that it should
be protected
at all cost for the human race to survive
so
as a whole,
only
a limited number should
be permitted
to sustain the beauty of nature.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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