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Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others think that change is needed. Discuss both views and give your opinion? v.1

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others think that change is needed. v. 1
People have different views about new changes, wether they should accept new devices or not. While, there are some merits to keep away from new changes, i would argue that, going with new changes is much more advantegeous for these days. On the one hand, it would be good to start by looking at some positive things for avoiding new change. Firstly, people do not like to push themseves towards strangers. In details, new change requires training and extra works, as people used to do their regular activities, that is why they think that new change may brings extra pressure for them. For instance, employing computer in an organization, pushes ild employees in struggling. As a consequence, their mind is not concentrating properly due to new devices. Furthermore, new change can be a cause of firing. In other words, when new change happens in an organization, some employees can be fired by management. Computer for example, has taken many workers positin in the market. On the other hand, coping with new change is always beneficial. The first and foremost benefit is that, it helps us to broden our horizon. In details, new change teaches us how to attach with new features. For example, technological development has been helping the modern world for broading the thinking level and create something new, which is good for mankind. For that reason, day by day plethora of new tools are being innovated. As a result, people can ease their hazardous situation. Moreover, uodating day by day helps us to reach our desired place. scientists are working for making new ways do that dewllers can live calmly. In conclusion, it can be said that, although new change seems hazardous for some extands, but it can be very usefull in plethora of sections.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
wether
they should accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
devices or not. While, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would argue that, going with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
is much more
Possible spelling mistake found.
advantegeous
for these days.

On the one hand, it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
by looking at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
things for avoiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not like to push
Possible spelling mistake found.
themseves
towards strangers. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
requires training and extra works, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do their regular activities,
that is
why they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
may brings extra pressure for them.
For instance
, employing computer in an organization, pushes
Possible spelling mistake found.
ild
employees in struggling. As a consequence, their mind is not concentrating
properly
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
devices.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
can be a cause of firing.
In other words
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
happens in an organization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employees can
be fired
by management. Computer
for example
, has taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
workers
Possible spelling mistake found.
positin
in the market.

On the other hand
, coping with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is always beneficial. The
first
and foremost benefit is that, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to
Possible spelling mistake found.
broden
our horizon. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
teaches us how to attach with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
features.
For example
, technological development has been helping the modern world for
Possible spelling mistake found.
broading
the thinking level and create something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for mankind. For that reason, day by day plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
tools are
being innovated
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
their hazardous situation.
Moreover
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
uodating
day by day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to reach our desired place.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
scientists
are working for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
ways do that
Possible spelling mistake found.
dewllers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
calmly
.

In conclusion
, it can
be said
that, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
seems hazardous for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
extands
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
usefull
in plethora of sections.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others think that change is needed. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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