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Should private schools receive government funding? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Should private schools receive government funding? v. 1
Have you ever wondered how do schools get their funding? This is a question that may have crossed almost everyone’s mind at some point and especially if private schools should be funded by the government. Personally, I disagree with this view. Families opt for private education for their children although the fees are extremely high, as they feel that these schools provide a better environment and facilities for their wards. These schools do not receive any funds from the government and are required to raise their money through various other sources like school tuition fees, donations and sometimes through fund raising activities. Considering parents are willing to pay these fees and other expenses the school does not need the government support to fund them. On the contrary, students have to pay little or no fees in public schools as it is funded by the government. This enables more students to learn and complete their education which in turn will give us a stronger work force and in the long run is beneficial for our country. These schools can provide the students with an opportunity to explore extracurricular activities like sports, dance and music giving children and a chance for overall development. Parents of student in private schools will also see the advantage of this in their own lives. For example, a company owner would want to hire well educated and competent staff and a well funded education system can provide these employees. To conclude, I do not believe any financial support should be given to private schools instead more support should be give to public schools which will benefit the one’s in most need.
Have you ever wondered how do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their funding? This is a question that may have crossed almost everyone’s mind at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point and
especially
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
be funded
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Personally
, I disagree with this view.

Families opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
education for their children although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
are
extremely
high, as they feel that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
provide a better environment and facilities for their wards. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
do not receive any funds from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
are required
to raise their money through various other sources like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
, donations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
through
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
fund raising
activities. Considering parents are willing to pay these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
and other expenses the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
does not need the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
support to fund them.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
in public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as it
is funded
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. This enables more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn and complete their education which in turn will give us a stronger work force and in the long run is beneficial for our country. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with an opportunity to explore extracurricular activities like sports, dance and music giving children and a chance for
overall
development. Parents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the advantage of this in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
owner would want to hire
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
and competent staff and a well funded education system can provide these employees.

To conclude
, I do not believe any financial support should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
instead
more support should be give to public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
which will benefit the one’s in most need.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Should private schools receive government funding? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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