Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Should governmnets make decisions about poepls lifestyle or should people make their own decisions v.1

Should governmnets make decisions about poepls lifestyle or should people make their own decisions v. 1
With the advent of globalization, it is considered that all effective decisions should be taken by the ministry for people's way of living while others think that they should prefer their decisions. My personal opinion is that authority should look after for the people's life The first and foremost point which could be emphasised is that the ministry is like the spine of a country. All the rules and regulations would be certainly has positive influence on people Especially in developing nations, it is very crucial for the dazzling future because lots of youngsters are illiterate and it is possible that they would witness distraction. For instance, I had seen in the news that a group of adults was arrested by police in order to supply drug samples. The governments should prohibit all types of illegal and anti-social crimes otherwise it may cause an alternative result. On the contrary, it is often thought that people should prepare their own decisions. This is also good in some cases such as in developed countries, people possess for their free and responsible lifestyle. The government have not the right to interrupt any individual's life. Some people are educated and carry knowledge to make their life lavish and more comfortable also they know the remarkable difference between what is good and what is not for them. In other words, it only interferes when any kind of rule breaking offence happens. The legal procedure should be taken against individuals. In conclusion, I personally believe that the most appropriate solution to this problem is government should take decisions instead of people as it will contain the factor of growth in not only developing nations but also in developed nations.
With the advent of globalization, it
is considered
that all effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
should
be taken
by the ministry for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's way of living while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should prefer their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. My personal opinion is that authority should look after for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life

The
first
and foremost point which could be
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasised' is British English.
emphasised
is that the ministry is like the spine of a country. All the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations would be
certainly
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Especially
in developing nations, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial for the dazzling future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
lots of youngsters are illiterate and it is possible that they would witness distraction.
For instance
, I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the news that a group of adults
was arrested
by police in order to supply drug samples. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should prohibit all types of illegal and anti-social crimes
otherwise
it may cause an alternative result.

On the contrary
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should prepare their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. This is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases such as in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
possess for their free and responsible lifestyle. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have not the right to interrupt any individual's life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are educated
and carry knowledge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life lavish and more comfortable
also
they know the remarkable difference between what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and what is not for them.
In other words
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
interferes when any kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
breaking
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
happens. The legal procedure should
be taken
against individuals.

In conclusion
, I
personally
believe that the most appropriate solution to this problem is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as it will contain the factor of growth in not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
developing nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in developed nations.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Should governmnets make decisions about poepls lifestyle or should people make their own decisions v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
283 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts