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Topic: Governments shoud spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Topic: Governments shoud spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? v. 1
It is argued that the government budget should be allocated more to railways than roads. However, I do not agree with this argument. In my opinion, the authorities should invest equally in both railroad and road systems. On the one hand, rail transport is one of the safest modes of transportation. While there are no unexpected vehicles coming on the railway line, people often need to pay attention to other vehicles when they commute on roads. As a result, the occurrence probability of roadway traffic accidents tends to be higher than that of railroad casualties. In addition, commuting by rail transport may ease the traffic congestion. Trains can carry a larger passenger number than any road vehicles. Thus, if people travel by train instead of their own vehicles during rush hours, the traffic jams can be alleviated. On the other hand, people may find it convenient to commute by their private vehicles. Today, people often need to travel in short distances where trains cannot be used. Therefore, roadway vehicles still play a vital role in our daily life. Furthermore, by using private vehicles, people can save their valuable time. Commuters can manage their travel time effectively when they use their own vehicles. By contrast, commuting by railway vehicles highly depends on their schedules. For example, if commuters miss a train, they may need to wait for the next train. In conclusion, railway and road systems are equally important to the development of a country. Thus, the government should focus on improving both these systems.
It
is argued
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
budget should
be allocated
more to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
However
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this argument. In my opinion, the authorities should invest
equally
in both railroad and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
systems.

On the one hand, rail transport is one of the safest modes of transportation. While there are no unexpected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
coming on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
line,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
need to pay attention to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
when they commute on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
As a result
, the occurrence probability of roadway traffic accidents tends to be higher than that of railroad casualties.
In addition
, commuting by rail transport may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the traffic congestion.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Trains
can carry a larger passenger number than any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
.
Thus
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
instead
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
during rush hours, the traffic jams can
be alleviated
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may find it convenient to commute by their private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
need to travel in short distances where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
Therefore
, roadway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
still
play a vital role in our daily life.
Furthermore
, by using private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can save their valuable time. Commuters can manage their travel time
effectively
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
. By contrast, commuting by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
highly
depends on their schedules.
For example
, if commuters miss a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
, they may need to wait for the
next
train.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
systems are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to the development of a country.
Thus
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should focus on improving both these systems.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Topic: Governments shoud spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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