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would governments make decisions about peoples lifestyle or people should make their own decision v.1

would governments make decisions about peoples lifestyle or people should make their own decision v. 1
With the advent of globalization, the behavior of people has changed gradually from the olden era to the recent one. It is thought by some that the authority should take decisions on individual's way of living, however, others believe that people should make decisions of their own. This essay sheds light on both the views before drawing into the conclusion. To begin with, the government has the utmost responsibility in taking care of its civilians. For instance, in countries where the government fails to ensure proper education, health facilities, recreation, and economic development people would be leading a disastrous life. To cite an example, some important rules like drug controlling determine people's healthy lifestyle. Thus it is true that government policies and rules play a crucial and pivotal role. On the other hand, if an individual determines to have a healthy behavior they would not need much help from the authorities to organize their life. Interestingly, these are some values and a good way of living that has to be chiselled to the next generation to have a healthy and happy life. To exemplify, there are some exercises like yoga, which could be taught to the young ones from a very young age, which consequently makes them lead a better manner of living. Thus a healthy lifestyle is something that could be made by an individual rather than the government. To conclude, a well sculpted, healthy life is a combination of an individual's way of living and regime policies and initiatives.
With the advent of globalization, the behavior of
people
has
changed
gradually
from the olden era to the recent one. It is
thought
by
some
that the authority should take decisions on individual's way of
living
,
however
, others believe that
people
should
make
decisions of their
own
. This essay sheds light on both the views
before
drawing into the conclusion.

To
begin
with, the
government
has the utmost responsibility in taking care of its civilians.
For instance
, in countries where the
government
fails to ensure proper education, health facilities, recreation, and economic development
people
would be leading a disastrous
life
. To cite an example,
some
important
rules
like drug controlling determine
people
's
healthy
lifestyle.
Thus
it is true that
government
policies and
rules
play a crucial and pivotal role.

On the other hand
, if an individual determines to have a
healthy
behavior they would not need much
help
from the authorities to organize their
life
.
Interestingly
, these are
some
values and a
good
way of
living
that
has to
be
chiselled
to the
next
generation to have a
healthy
and happy
life
. To exemplify, there are
some
exercises like yoga, which could
be taught
to the young ones from a
very
young age, which
consequently
makes
them lead a better manner of
living
.
Thus
a
healthy
lifestyle is something that could
be made
by an individual
rather
than the
government
.

To conclude
, a well sculpted,
healthy
life
is a combination of an individual's way of
living
and regime policies and initiatives.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay would governments make decisions about peoples lifestyle or people should make their own decision v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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