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Should governments make decisions about people’s lifestyle, or should people make their own decisions? v.3

Should governments make decisions about people’s lifestyle, or should people make their own decisions? v. 3
Some people are concerned whether governments should decide what the public’s lifestyle should be, or should people make decisions for themselves. In my opinion, based on some lifestyles such as taking drugs, governments need to react responsibly. When people make their own decisions, they should pay more attention to the consequences. Governments can help people in making decisions on their lifestyle. For instance, people that sell and take drugs, often encourage younger people to follow their lifestyle. This could have a serious influence on society. As a result, governments should make decisions to encourage these people changing the lifestyle of others and if necessary, governments have to use laws to support and maintain their decisions. So based on this situation, governments should make some decisions for people. No matter what decisions people make, they must think about the consequences. Without thinking decisions through, some decisions can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle and can become a threat to lives. For example, smoking can cause a high rate of lung cancer, as well as those exposed to the smoke. Drink driving can lead to serious traffic accidents, as well as threaten other people’s lives. However, governments may never prohibit the selling of cigarettes and alcohol as a deterrent to those not making the right decision. Therefore, people need to make decisions on their own and they must think about the consequences of those decisions. In conclusion, in some situations governments should make decisions, which may be based on laws for encouraging as well as informing people to change their lifestyle, such as taking drugs etc. At the same time, people should make their own decisions on their lifestyle and consider the consequences.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are concerned
whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should decide what the public’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
should be, or should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
for themselves. In my opinion, based on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
such as taking drugs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
need to react
responsibly
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
, they should pay more attention to the consequences.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that sell and take drugs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
encourage younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to follow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. This could have a serious influence on society.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
to encourage these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
changing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of others and if necessary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
laws to support and maintain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
based on this situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

No matter what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the consequences. Without thinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
through,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
can lead to an unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and can become a threat to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, smoking can cause a high rate of lung cancer,
as well
as those exposed to the smoke.
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Drink driving
can lead to serious traffic accidents,
as well
as threaten other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
may never prohibit the selling of cigarettes and alcohol as a deterrent to those not making the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
on their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
own and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the consequences of those decisions.

In conclusion
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
, which may
be based
on laws for encouraging
as well
as informing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
, such as taking drugs etc. At the same time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and consider the consequences.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Should governments make decisions about people’s lifestyle, or should people make their own decisions? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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