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Should governments make decisions about people's lifestyle or should people make their own decisions v.1

Should governments make decisions about people's lifestyle or should people make their own decisions v. 1
Decision making has a vital role in everybody's life. Therefore, a school of thought argues that, it is the responsiblity of higher authorities to take decisions about one's way of life. while other school of thought believes that, it is the sole responsibility of indivitual. Hence this essay analaysis whose responsibility is making decision regarding life style On the one hand, it is argued by many people that authorities should take decisions regarding life style because it aids the well being of a society. In other words, in this modern world people are facing a lot of problems in their life like health problems and lack of nutritional food. Hence, if government makes decisions about people life style, it can hamper this issues. For instance, many countries people should pay a lion share of there income as tax. so government canuse this amount for the basic need of a nation. Also have strignent rules for family planning and housing. there for it ensure the well being of a nation On the other hand, it is said by many people that decision making about life style is right of a person because then only he can achieve his goals. To be more specific, diperent people have different aim and tastes. As a result people will always choose a dicision accourding to their interest and it ensure them to achieve their task. For example, most of artist are succesful because of they followed their own decisions To conclude, after analysing both views it is clear that goverment and indvitual have equel importance in this scenario. Because goverment dcisions are for wellbeing of nation whereas indivitual dicision helps to achieve goals
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Decision making
has a vital role in everybody's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Therefore
, a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
argues that, it is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsiblity
of higher authorities to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
about one's way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
other school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
believes that, it is the sole responsibility of
Possible spelling mistake found.
indivitual
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
this essay
Possible spelling mistake found.
analaysis
whose responsibility is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style

On the one hand, it
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that authorities should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it aids the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of a society.
In other words
, in this modern world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
like health problems and lack of nutritional food.
Hence
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style, it can hamper this issues.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should pay a lion share of there income as tax.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Possible spelling mistake found.
canuse
this amount for the basic need of a nation.
Also
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
strignent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for family planning and housing.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
for it ensure the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of a nation

On the other hand
, it
is said
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style is right of a person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
he can achieve his goals. To be more specific,
Possible spelling mistake found.
diperent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aim and tastes.
As a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will always choose a
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicision
Possible spelling mistake found.
accourding
to their interest and it
Did you mean "ensures"?
ensure
them to achieve their task.
For example
,
Consider using "most artist" or "most of the artist".
most of artist
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
succesful
Probable usage error. Use "because they" instead.
because of they
followed their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions

To conclude
, after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
both views it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
indvitual
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
equel
importance in this scenario.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
Possible spelling mistake found.
dcisions
are for
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
of nation whereas
Possible spelling mistake found.
indivitual
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicision
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to achieve
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
goals
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Mistakes

IELTS essay Should governments make decisions about people's lifestyle or should people make their own decisions v. 1

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
277 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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