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Should governments make decisions about people’s lifestyle, or should people make their own decisions? v.2

Should governments make decisions about people’s lifestyle, or should people make their own decisions? v. 2
Human beings have different ways of living which varies from nation to nation. It is an often debatable issue that the authorities to take decisions regarding the ways of living of citizens or the individual be deciding about their living ways. In my opinion, there are certain things that should be in control of the government while people also have the right to maintain their lives. To embark upon, in developed countries or democratic nations, citizens have the power to make choices about their living culture. Also, an individual has the desires to fulfil their personal interest. But the public should be aware of the consequences of their actions. For instance, smoking is hazardous to our health and a person smoking in public places is not allowed as it may affect others passively. However, the government has never restricted the use of cigarettes or alcohol as its one’s personal choice of consumption until it is not harming other citizens. There are certain professions or activities, which should be in control of political establishments as it can be dangerous for society also. Government can help people to make the decision on their lifestyle. For example, it is illegal to drive a vehicle after drinking alcohol as it leads to road accidents as well as to threaten other’s safety also. Therefore, the ministry has created policies for road safety. So based on the situation, when any individual action harms the environment, human beings or animals then they must be aware of the effects. On the whole, the government and the people should know what is more beneficial to an individual and other masses also. Laws should be there to encourage a healthy lifestyle. At the same time, people can take decisions knowing the results.
Human beings have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
which varies from nation to nation. It is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
debatable issue that the authorities to take decisions regarding the ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
of citizens or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
be deciding about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
ways. In my opinion, there are certain things that should be in control of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
have the right to maintain their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To embark upon, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
or democratic nations, citizens have the power to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
choices about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
culture.
Also
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
has the desires to fulfil their personal interest.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the public should be aware of the consequences of their actions.
For instance
, smoking is hazardous to our health and a person smoking in public places is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
as it may affect others
passively
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has never restricted the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of cigarettes or alcohol as its one’s personal choice of consumption until it is not harming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
citizens.

There are certain professions or activities, which should be in control of political establishments as it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for society
also
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the decision on their lifestyle.
For example
, it is illegal to drive a vehicle after drinking alcohol as it leads to road accidents
as well
as to threaten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other’s
safety
also
.
Therefore
, the ministry has created policies for road safety.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
based on the situation, when any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
action harms the environment, human beings or animals then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be aware of the effects.

On the whole
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should know
what is more
beneficial to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
masses
also
. Laws should be there to encourage a healthy lifestyle. At the same time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can take decisions knowing the results.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Should governments make decisions about people’s lifestyle, or should people make their own decisions? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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