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Some people say that most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say that most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. v. 1
Over the course of history, we have witnessed numerous global issues successfully addressed thanks to cross-border cooperation. Therefore, a number of individuals are of fervent conviction that this is the core to ensure the resolution of urgent problems around the world. Although it cannot be denied that this holds true to some extent, I personally believe that international cooperation is not the only way. On the one hand, it is conspicuous that cross-border cooperation has substantially contributed to ameliorating and eliminating countless worldwide issues. To illustrate, global warming, which has aroused extensive concern due to its disastrous repercussions, calls for the participation of all nations to improve the situation. A series of international conferences, which have been held in the past few years by the UN, has brought about positive outcomes. Thanks to the wholehearted support of member countries, gas emissions from industries and domestic activities have been considerably falling, paving the way for preventing global warming from getting worse. However, the executive bodies of each nation are also responsible for tackling these pressing matters. To begin with, there is no arguing that every country has its own problems, and its government cannot depend on foreign aid to start paying attention to them. In other words, it is incumbent on the governments to deal with its own issues. Furthermore, success in the resolution of internal issues sets a platform for better international cooperation. A stable condition of a country in terms of politics or economy would facilitate the success of cross-border cooperation to a large extent. To conclude, in the context of globalization, international cooperation is of profound importance when it comes to solving urgent issues, but each nation can make contribution by handling its internal matters as well.
Over the course of history, we have witnessed numerous global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
successfully
addressed thanks to cross-border
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
.
Therefore
, a number of individuals are of fervent conviction that this is the core to ensure the resolution of urgent problems around the world. Although it cannot
be denied
that this holds true to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way.

On the one hand, it is conspicuous that cross-border
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
has
substantially
contributed to ameliorating and eliminating countless worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. To illustrate, global warming, which has aroused extensive concern due to its disastrous repercussions, calls for the participation of all nations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation. A series of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
conferences, which have
been held
in the past few years by the UN, has brought about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes. Thanks to the wholehearted support of member countries, gas emissions from industries and domestic activities have been
considerably
falling, paving the way for preventing global warming from getting worse.

However
, the executive bodies of each nation are
also
responsible for tackling these pressing matters. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is no arguing that every country has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
problems, and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
cannot depend on foreign aid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
paying attention to them.
In other words
, it is incumbent on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to deal with its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
.
Furthermore
, success in the resolution of internal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
sets a platform for better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
. A stable condition of a country in terms of politics or economy would facilitate the success of cross-border
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
to a large extent.

To conclude
, in the context of globalization,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
is of profound importance when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to solving urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
each nation can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
contribution by handling its internal matters
as well
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Some people say that most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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