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Present a written argument to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. v.1

Present a written argument to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: Businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. v. 1
Business competition has been substantially increasing over the years. Some argue that, for generating high revenue companies must take whatever steps needed, even if it means by deceiving the customers. Although some people support the above statement, however, I completely disagree with it, as they will be losing the clients in the long run and fetch bad reputation. To begin with, businesses cannot keep customers blind for an elongated period with their unethical tactics. Initially they will earn money rapidly until individuals become aware of their dirty methods. After it becomes evident for the clients, who are now becoming vigilant, they will never return to buy from the same place. When various other vendors are selling goods at reasonable price and offer discounts, why would the shoppers return to the deceiving sellers? For illustration, an online shopping website called the Myntra had been employing improper ways of charging additional taxes before shoppers realized the fraud. Once it was evident, the number of visitors fell drastically and never to grow again. Moreover, it causes bad reputation in the market. Whoever has got cheated by the business, will definitely talk negatively about them with their friends and family. Also, they will never recommend it to others which takes away prospect customer base. Because of the numerous negative feedbacks, the overall share price shall also go down along with its brand value. Thus, businesses should be running in an ethical way so that their image remains persistent in the market. In conclusion, I strongly assert that, if businesses wish to do whatever they feel to gain extra money, they might get temporary success, nevertheless, it will tremendously impact on their growth in the future as they will lose the customers due to unethical ways. Besides, it will also take down the company's value.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
competition has been
substantially
increasing over the years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that, for generating high revenue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take whatever steps needed, even if it means by deceiving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support the above statement,
however
, I completely disagree with it, as they will be losing the clients in the long run and fetch
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
reputation.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
blind for an elongated period with their unethical tactics.
Initially
they will earn money
rapidly
until individuals become aware of their dirty methods. After it becomes evident for the clients, who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
becoming vigilant, they will never return to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from the same place. When various other vendors are selling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
at reasonable price and offer discounts, why would the shoppers return to the deceiving sellers? For illustration, an online shopping website called the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Myntra
had been employing improper ways of charging additional taxes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
shoppers realized the fraud. Once it was evident, the number of visitors fell
drastically
and never to grow again.

Moreover
, it causes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
reputation in the market. Whoever has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
cheated by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, will definitely talk
negatively
about them with their friends and family.
Also
, they will never recommend it to others which takes away prospect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
base.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
feedbacks, the
overall
share price shall
also
go down along with its brand value.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
should be running
Consider replacing "in an ethical way" with the adverb for "ethical"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an ethical way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that their image remains persistent in the market.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
assert that, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
wish to do whatever they feel to gain extra money, they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
temporary success,
nevertheless
, it will
tremendously
impact on their growth in the future as they will lose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
due to unethical ways.
Besides
, it will
also
take down the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's value.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Present a written argument to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: Businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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