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Should government make decisions about people's life style, or should people make their own decisions. v.1

Should government make decisions about people's life style, or should people make their own decisions. v. 1
The lifestyle of a common person and nature of reign has changed a lot in the past century, owing to the technological and educational advances. Some people think that the government has the full right to make decisions regarding the way of living of an individual, whereas some are with the view that it should be a personal choice. To begin with, the administration can create a huge impact on the lives of individuals. Whatever decision is taken by it, is applicable to the whole community and thus, it is believed that the government should give verdicts on a way of living. For instance, a single person falling prey to the world of drugs and smuggling, can impact the lives of many. But, the administration has a law for the ban on these activities and can punish such person. This saves others from getting negatively influenced. Therefore, most of the governments try to make good decisions for the community. On the other hand, it is believed that an individual has all rights to decide whatever they want to do. For example, in most of the countries, the administration has no right to interfere in the personal choices such as whom to marry, what to eat etc. As every coin has two sides, similarly, every right comes with a duty that others should not be harmed. As an example, in India, drinking alcohol is the personal choice of one, but the moment it impacts others, as in the case of drunk driving, it becomes a public matter and the law is authorized to punish. To conclude, in these times, the lifestyle of public is impacted by both the government and the individual choice. It is important to draw a line to both the independence of personal choice and the administration's interference.
The lifestyle of a common person and nature of reign has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot in the past century, owing to the technological and educational advances.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has the full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions regarding the way of living of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are with the view that it should be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
choice.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the administration can create a huge impact on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. Whatever decision
is taken
by it, is applicable to the whole community and
thus
, it
is believed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should give verdicts on a way of living.
For instance
, a single person falling prey to the world of drugs and smuggling, can impact the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the administration has a law for the ban on these activities and can punish such person. This saves others from getting
negatively
influenced.
Therefore
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decisions for the community.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it
is believed
that an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
has all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
to decide whatever they want to do.
For example
, in most of the countries, the administration has no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to interfere in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
such as whom to marry, what to eat etc. As every coin has two sides,
similarly
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with a duty that others should not
be harmed
. As an example, in India, drinking alcohol is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
of one,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the moment it impacts others, as in the case of drunk driving, it becomes a public matter and the law
is authorized
to punish.

To conclude
, in these times, the lifestyle of public
is impacted
by both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to draw a line to both the independence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
and the administration's interference.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Should government make decisions about people's life style, or should people make their own decisions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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