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Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.25

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. with this statement? v. 25
The world has witnessed many inventions which have changed human lives completely. One such incredible breakthrough was invention of computer. I agree with the notion that this invention is one of the landmarks in the history of mankind. To begin with, there are multiple reasons for this belief. Firstly, the introduction of the computer has revolutionise many sectors and industries. It has replaced the conventional methods of doing work. Fields like teaching, medical, banking, space technology, research and analysis are intensively dependent on computers. Secondly, it has the ability to perform difficult tasks with ease and precision thereby minimising human intervention. Lastly, from many of its merits, the most important is that it can convert raw data into information as per predefined instructions and can store it for future reference. Furthermore, it has given birth to many new industries, thus creating an ample of job opportunities. Software and programming industry, information and technology, communication sector are some of the examples of such industries which exists because of computers. Moreover, one of the booming sectors which is grabbing world's attention is robots and robotics. Many research and experiments are being done by introducing artificial intelligence to computers to give them human aspect. Similarly, computers are also being tested in the transportation sector. Navigation, traffic control and driver less cars, all were possible with the help of computers. To sum up, computers have become an inseparable part of our life. Right from its inception, many advancements have taken place with computing facilities and still more and more avenues are being searched where it can be brought into use. Undoubtedly, it is an invention which had proved boon to human civilisation and life has become unimaginable without it.
The world has witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
inventions which have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
completely. One such incredible breakthrough was invention of computer. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that this invention is one of the landmarks in the history of mankind.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are multiple reasons for this belief.
Firstly
, the introduction of the computer has
Use past participle here: "revolutionised".
revolutionise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
. It has replaced the conventional methods of doing work. Fields like teaching, medical, banking, space technology, research and analysis are
intensively
dependent on computers.
Secondly
, it has the ability to perform difficult tasks with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and precision thereby
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimising' is British English.
minimising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
intervention.
Lastly
, from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of its merits, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is that it can convert raw data into information as per predefined instructions and can store it for future reference.

Furthermore
, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
birth to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
,
thus
creating
The phrase 'an ample of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'an' and 'of'.
an ample of
job opportunities. Software and programming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
, information and technology, communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
examples of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
which exists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of computers.
Moreover
, one of the booming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
which is grabbing world's attention is robots and robotics.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
research and experiments are
being done
by introducing artificial intelligence to computers to give them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
aspect.
Similarly
, computers are
also
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
in the transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
. Navigation, traffic control and driver less cars, all were possible with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of computers.

To sum up, computers have become an inseparable part of our life. Right from its inception,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advancements have taken place with computing facilities and
still
more and more avenues are
being searched
where it can
be brought
into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
Undoubtedly
, it is an invention which had proved boon to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisation' is British English.
civilisation
and life has become unimaginable without it.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. with this statement? v. 25

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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