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Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by thr government or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services? give reasons for your answer and relevant examples. v.1

Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by thr government or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services? v. 1
Public health care and schooling are the fundamental elements of building a prosperous and stable society in one's country. I personally believe that having a free schooling mechanism and health care system are the key responsibilities for the authority to provide for its citizens. The public should not be worried about paying for these services. Schooling should be a free service. it provides equal opportunities for every single child to receive education. The influence of having children being well educated is tremendous. It is creating a great asset back to the society and it increased the chance of mobility of lower class people to move upward and exchange with a better lifestyle for themselves. The economic change will have a positive impact when the citizen's education level is higher, it attracts foreign investors, business and students to come to your country for further development. Health care is significant to citizens as it provides the sense of security and a safety net for them. Medical cost is considered a high expense compare to other expenses and fees because of its medicine, equipment and service charges, etc. The ministry should provide a proper system to the public in order to ensure that every single person will receive a treatment when they are ill. Not only rich people can afford it, but any class of the people in the society is able to enjoy the healthcare treatment. Take America as an example, considering many black people are unable to pay for the hospital bills, nor pay for an insurance to cover the medical charges, the death rate of the black people is significantly higher compared to the white people in the States. In conclusion, education and health care should be the ministry's responsibility instead of the people. Considering the government is providing a free education and health care system, people are more likely to work harder and happier. It is also building a positive image of a government and show it cares.
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and schooling are the fundamental elements of building a prosperous and stable society in one's country. I
personally
believe that having a free schooling mechanism and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
system are the key responsibilities for the authority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
for its citizens. The public should not
be worried
about paying for these services.

Schooling should be a free service.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
equal opportunities for every single child to receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. The influence of having children being
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
is tremendous. It is creating a great asset back to the society and it increased the chance of mobility of lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
upward and exchange with a better lifestyle for themselves. The economic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact when the citizen's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
level is higher, it attracts foreign investors, business and students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to your country for
further
development.

Health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
is significant to citizens as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
the sense of security and a safety net for them. Medical cost
is considered
a high expense compare to other expenses and fees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its medicine, equipment and service charges, etc. The ministry should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
a proper system to the public in order to ensure that every single person will receive a treatment when they are ill. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can afford it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the society is able to enjoy the healthcare treatment. Take America as an example, considering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
black
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unable to pay for the hospital bills, nor pay for an insurance to cover the medical charges, the death rate of the black
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is
significantly
higher compared to the white
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the States.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
should be the ministry's responsibility
instead
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Considering the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is providing a free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
system,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to work harder and happier. It is
also
building a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
image of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cares
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by thr government or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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