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SHOULD A CITY TRY TO PRESERVE ITS OLD, HISTORIC BUILDINGS OR DESTROY THEM AND REPLACE THEM WITH MODERN BUILDINGS? USE SPECIFIC REASONS AND EXAMPLES TO SUPPORT YOUR OPINION. v.2

SHOULD A CITY TRY TO PRESERVE ITS OLD, HISTORIC BUILDINGS OR DESTROY THEM AND REPLACE THEM WITH MODERN BUILDINGS? USE SPECIFIC REASONS AND EXAMPLES TO SUPPORT YOUR OPINION. v. 2
For a long time now migration to cities from rural areas is a consistent phenomenon. There has been a raging debate among some young people that moving out from the hometown in adulthood is the best option than living in hometown for the rest of their life. I think, it is a personal choice of an individual to spend his/her life in native place or any other city. But, I personally believe that it is good to shift by looking at the advantages provided by cities. There are many reasons why young people wish to migrate to bigger cities and leave their hometown forever. Firstly, the quality of education, availability of colleges for higher studies in a particular discipline are major concerns at small places. Owing to which, youngsters leave hometowns to pursue their studies. Secondly, the facilities offered by cities are more than villages. Bigger cities provide good transportation system, high standard of living, availability of small to big household things. Multiplexes, shopping malls, high rise buildings, better internet connectivity are available only in most of the big cities. Finally, most of software companies are established in metro cities. Due to which, after completing college degrees, youngsters get jobs there and never come back. Moreover, they think that it will be beneficial to live in cities for their future generations also. On the other hand, some adults do not leave their native place as they have career options for them in hometown. For example, some people have their family business, so they can earn well in their native place only. Other than that, some adults think that it is the duty of adults to take care of their parents in old age. Therefore, they do not feel comfortable in migration. To conclude, I assert that migration to bigger cities has offered excellent growth opportunities. Therefore, I believe that shifting to metro cities is indeed a good idea.
For a long time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
migration to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
from rural areas is a consistent phenomenon. There has been a raging debate among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that moving out from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
in adulthood is the best option than living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
for the rest of their life. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, it is a personal choice of an individual to spend his/her life in native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
or any other city.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I
personally
believe that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to shift by looking at the advantages provided by cities.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
wish to migrate to bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
forever.
Firstly
, the quality of education, availability of colleges for higher studies in a particular discipline are major concerns at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. Owing to which, youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometowns
to pursue their studies.
Secondly
, the facilities offered by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are more than villages. Bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
transportation system, high standard of living, availability of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
household things. Multiplexes, shopping malls, high rise buildings, better internet connectivity are available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in most of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Finally
,
Consider using "most software" or "most of the software".
most of software
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are established
in metro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Due to which, after completing college degrees, youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
jobs there and never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back.
Moreover
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it will be beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for their future generations
also
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adults do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
as they have career options for them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have their family business,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can earn well in their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. Other than that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is the duty of adults to take care of their parents in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age.
Therefore
, they do not feel comfortable in migration.

To conclude
, I assert that migration to bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has offered excellent growth opportunities.
Therefore
, I believe that shifting to metro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is
indeed
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay SHOULD A CITY TRY TO PRESERVE ITS OLD, HISTORIC BUILDINGS OR DESTROY THEM AND REPLACE THEM WITH MODERN BUILDINGS? USE SPECIFIC REASONS AND EXAMPLES TO SUPPORT YOUR OPINION. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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