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Shops in the countryside are fewer and fewer, so people tend to go to stores in the towns and cities, and then lead to their inconvenient life. Car use also causes pollution. Is this phenomenon more harmful than the end? v.2

Shops in the countryside are fewer and fewer, so people tend to go to stores in the towns and cities, and then lead to their inconvenient life. Car use also causes pollution. Is this phenomenon more harmful than the end? v. 2
The trend towards people visiting stores in towns and cities is increasingly prevalent because of the effect of fewer shops in their neighbourhood. In my opinion, while this causes people to experience an inconvenient life, the consequence including pollution can be more damaging. It is true that shopping at distant destinations could have several inconveniences caused to people. These inconveniences include the increased petroleum costs and time that people spend on roads, which accordingly make people unable to strike a balance in their budget. For example, my sister, living in a rural area, usually spend an hour on a daily basis driving to the supermarket, which is located in the city centre. Not only does this cause her to spend more time and efforts on daily shopping but it also reduces the amount of time that is supposed to prepare the meals earlier. Apart from the cause of an inconvenient life, environmental problems caused by cars and other vehicles that are used for shopping are also more devastating. Due to an upward trend towards people driving to distant shops, the usage of private vehicles accordingly increases as well. To power these vehicles, fuels such as coals, petroleum, and oil are of necessity, all of which are thought to have an adverse impact on the environment. Thus, the more the number of cars hit the road, the more amount of toxic gases emitted into the atmosphere. Yet, this also contributes to such environmental issues as air pollution, greenhouse effect, and global warming. In conclusion, shopping at distant shops could have a negative impact on people’s lives to some extent. Besides that negativity, the ecological consequences including the increased toxic gases released into the atmosphere are more significant.
The trend towards
people
visiting stores in towns and cities is
increasingly
prevalent
because
of the effect of fewer shops in their
neighbourhood
. In my opinion, while this causes
people
to experience an inconvenient life, the
consequence including
pollution can be more damaging.

It is true that
shopping
at distant destinations could have several inconveniences caused to
people
. These inconveniences include the increased petroleum costs and time that
people
spend on roads, which
accordingly
make
people
unable to strike a balance in their budget.
For example
, my sister, living in a rural area,
usually
spend an hour on a daily basis driving to the supermarket, which
is located
in the city
centre
. Not
only
does this cause her to spend more time and efforts on daily
shopping
but
it
also
reduces
the amount of time that
is supposed
to prepare the meals earlier.

Apart from the cause of an inconvenient life, environmental problems caused by cars and other vehicles that are
used
for
shopping
are
also
more devastating. Due to an upward trend towards
people
driving to distant shops, the usage of private vehicles
accordingly
increases
as well
. To power these vehicles, fuels such as coals, petroleum, and oil are of necessity, all of which are
thought
to have an adverse impact on the environment.
Thus
, the more the number of cars hit the road, the more amount of toxic gases emitted into the atmosphere.
Yet
, this
also
contributes to such environmental issues as air pollution, greenhouse effect, and global warming.

In conclusion
,
shopping
at distant shops could have a
negative
impact on
people’s
lives
to
some
extent.
Besides
that negativity, the ecological
consequences including
the increased toxic gases released into the atmosphere are more significant.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Shops in the countryside are fewer and fewer, so people tend to go to stores in the towns and cities, and then lead to their inconvenient life. Car use also causes pollution. Is this phenomenon more harmful than the end? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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