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Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.3

Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. v. 3
Crime has become one of the most important issues in the society nowadays. While some people think that the best way to solve this problem is placing criminals in jail, others believe that providing education and job training programs for them is more effective. In my opinion, I completely agree with this view. To begin with, there are various reasons why I think government should not consider sending offenders to prison as the best method. Firstly, the government has to cover the cost of running and managing prisons, which include a huge amount of money for security and facilities. This money could be used for funding a lot of other essential matters that benefit the society such as public transportation and health care. Secondly, imprisoning criminals in the long time might lead to their resentful and unpleasantness. So they could continue to commit crimes after they are released. Lastly, criminals in jail might have negative effects from other offenders, which prevents them from being good citizens. In contrast, I believe that offering education and occupational skill training programs for law breakers might have more advantages in changing their mindset and attitude. Firstly, education programs will teach them about morality and equip them the ability to distinguish between the right and wrong things. Therefore, they might be better people and do good things for others when they come back to the community. Secondly, providing job training for offenders might give them the opportunity to get jobs, and thus, they could earn money and live independently. It is extremely important because I believe suffering from poverty is the root cause of most of the crimes. Finally, educated criminals might have a better chance to integrate into society and live a better life after they finish their punishments. In conclusion, although imprisonment is the most popular method to deal with crime problems, I strongly believe that there are better ways to reduce crime rate in the society such as education and job training.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
has become one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
nowadays. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the best way to solve this problem is placing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in jail, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
programs for them is more effective. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are various reasons why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not consider sending offenders to prison as the best method.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
cover the cost of running and managing prisons, which include a huge amount of money for security and facilities. This money could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for funding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
essential matters that benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
such as public transportation and health care.
Secondly
, imprisoning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in the long time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
lead to their resentful and unpleasantness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they could continue to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
after they
are released
.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in jail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
offenders, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizens.

In contrast
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and occupational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
programs for law breakers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have more advantages in changing their mindset and attitude.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
programs will teach them about morality and equip them the ability to distinguish between the right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
things.
Therefore
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things for others when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to the community.
Secondly
, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
for offenders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
give them the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, and
thus
, they could earn money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
independently
. It is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
suffering from poverty is the root cause of most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
Finally
, educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
chance to integrate into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life after they finish their punishments.

In conclusion
, although imprisonment is the most popular method to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
problems, I
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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