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Sending criminal to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Sending criminal to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. v. 1
People have different views regarding the way to treat law offenders, that whether they should be best treated with education and other vocational training. I partly agree with the view of educating those who committed a crime, as being a prisoner may destroy their life. Firstly, providing proper education to law offenders may help them to lead a better life and providing them job training would help them to find a suitable work by which they can earn money as the reason behind most of the crime is shortage of money to fulfil the basic necessities of one's life. As the rate of unemployment in our country is very high the jobless people sometimes loaded their ethics to meet their daily needs and so such people should not be sent to prison. The vocational activities if performed have a positive effect on life of criminals and a real life example of this is the jail in Ahmedabad where the offenders have opened a stall to sell fritters to the public and the money earned is given to the family of prisoners. On the other hand, if the criminals are not punished or if not sent to prison, then there are higher chances of increase in crime rates as some offenders, those who have committed severe crimes, like rapist and murderers should not be granted any mercy and should definitely send for lifetime imprisonment. In a nutshell, I agree with the idea of providing education and job training to law offenders as it help in making their life better and also society free from criminal, but at the same time those who have committed merciless crimes like rape and murder, it is best to imprison them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views regarding the way to treat law
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
, that whether they should be best treated with education and other vocational training. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view of educating those who committed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, as being a prisoner may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
their life.

Firstly
, providing proper education to law
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to lead a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and providing them job training would
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "help them find"?
help them to find
a suitable work by which they can earn money as the reason behind most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is shortage of money to fulfil the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As the rate of unemployment in our country is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high the jobless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
loaded their ethics to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their daily needs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to prison. The vocational activities if performed have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of criminals and a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
example of this is the jail in Ahmedabad where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
have opened a stall to sell fritters to the public and the money earned is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the family of prisoners.

On the other hand
, if the criminals are not punished or if not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to prison, then there are higher chances of increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
, those who have committed severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, like rapist and murderers should not
be granted
any mercy and should definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
for lifetime imprisonment.

In a nutshell, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of providing education and job training to law
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in making their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
better and
also
society free from criminal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time those who have committed merciless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
like rape and murder, it is best to imprison them.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Sending criminal to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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