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Scientists use living animal to carry out research. Some people think it is interesting, while some other people think it is cruel. What is your opinion? v.1

Scientists use living animal to carry out research. Some people think it is interesting, while some other people think it is cruel. What is your opinion? v. 1
Concerning the issue whether scientists should use living animals for scientific research, people hold different views. Some people claim that it is cruel, while some other people argue that it is beneficial to the development of science. As far as I am concerned, I am in favour of carrying out experiments on animals. Firstly, scientists can do initial experiments on animals to test the effect of a new medicine. Scientists have achieved so many milestones on the way to medical development. But they can not find any effective treatment for some diseases yet, like cancer and AIDS, which are fatal to people's health. Through experiments on animals, scientists can not only understand the pathology of some diseases but also try the effect of medicine and find the most effective treatment for these diseases, making a great breakthrough in the field of medicine. Secondly, using living animals in the laboratory, the teachers in the university or some research institutes can demonstrate the anatomic knowledge to the students majoring in medicine, rendering students a direct understanding of biological knowledge, which can improve the level of medical research and make great contributions to the medical science. Without experiments on living animals, genetic technology would not have developed so quickly. Actually, most scientists attribute their success and breakthroughs to experiments on animals. Finally, Some animals can provide human beings with essential organs for transplantation. Genetic technology will change the genes of some animals. In the near future, organs of animals will take the place of artificial organs like heart pumps, prolonging patients life. However, research on living animals faces a moral problem because animals are also living which possess equal rights as human beings, according to many. On a second thought, it is worthwhile for the purpose to accelerate the development of science and the progress of human civilisation.
Concerning the issue whether
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scientists
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that it is cruel, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that it is beneficial to the development of science. As far as I
am concerned
, I am in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of carrying out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
on animals.

Firstly
,
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scientists
can do initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
the effect of a new medicine.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scientists
have achieved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
milestones on the way to medical development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they can not find any effective treatment for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases
yet
, like cancer and AIDS, which are fatal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health. Through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
understand the pathology of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
try the effect of medicine and find the most effective treatment for these diseases, making a great breakthrough in the field of medicine.

Secondly
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the laboratory, the teachers in the university or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
institutes can demonstrate the anatomic knowledge to the students majoring in medicine, rendering students a direct understanding of biological knowledge, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the level of medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
great contributions to the medical science. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, genetic technology would not have developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
quickly
. Actually, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
attribute their success and breakthroughs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
on animals.

Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can provide human beings with essential organs for transplantation. Genetic technology will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the genes of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. In the near future, organs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
will take the place of artificial organs like heart pumps, prolonging patients life.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
faces a moral problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
which possess equal rights as human beings, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. On a second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, it is worthwhile for the purpose to accelerate the development of science and the progress of human
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisation' is British English.
civilisation
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Scientists use living animal to carry out research. Some people think it is interesting, while some other people think it is cruel. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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