Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

TV, Internet and radio are very popular nowadays. Some people say that they will replace books and written words as the main sources of information. v.2

TV, Internet and radio are very popular nowadays. Some people say that they will replace books and written words as the main sources of information. v. 2
Internet and TV, as the mainstream of media, play a very import role in information transformation. They present a colourful and vivid world in front of us. Some people assert that Internet and TV would take the place of books in a couple of years. However, facts tell us that each medium has its own advantages and disadvantages. Books will not retreat from our life. Admittedly, Internet and TV bring about many conveniences to us. Firstly, Internet and TV can transform information instantly. They can tell us what happened in the world right away with very impressive dynamic pictures. During the 17th World Cup, many people watched the games on TV or Internet live. Internet and TV can also tell us the latest development of science and technology and the fashion trend nowadays, which can keep us abreast with the world. Secondly, Internet and TV also play an important educational role. For instance, people can study history, culture, language and cooking skills from some educational programs on TV or Internet. Lastly, People can get entertainment from Internet and TV, which are abundant in interesting and exciting electronic games and adventures. However, we should not neglect the importance of books which are very convenient to carry and easy to get. Books are available everywhere, such as in a library,   bookstore, in your pocket or beside your pillow. After a day's work, we can lay on a bed and relax by reading some novels or newspapers. You can read a very interesting story on a train or on a plane. TV and the Internet would not be that convenient and further, they could cause tiredness sometimes if you sit in front of a TV and a computer for a very long time. In conclusion, books are one of the main sources of information and they are very convenient for people to read. Books will not disappear from our life in the future, though TV and the Internet have so profound influence in our life.
Internet and TV, as the mainstream of media, play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
import role in information transformation. They present a
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
and vivid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
in front of us.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assert that Internet and TV would take the place of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in a couple of years.
However
, facts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us that each medium has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
will not retreat from our life.

Admittedly
, Internet and TV bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
conveniences to us.
Firstly
, Internet and TV can transform information
instantly
. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us what happened in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
right away with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
impressive dynamic pictures. During the 17th
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Cup,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
the games on TV or Internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Internet and TV can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us the latest development of science and technology and the fashion trend nowadays, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
us abreast with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Secondly
, Internet and TV
also
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
educational role.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can study history, culture, language and cooking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
educational programs on TV or Internet.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
entertainment from Internet and TV, which are abundant in interesting and exciting electronic games and adventures.

However
, we should not neglect the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient to carry and easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
are available everywhere, such as in a library,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
bookstore, in your pocket or beside your pillow. After a day's work, we can lay on a bed and relax by reading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
novels or newspapers. You can read a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting story on a train or on a 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
. TV and the Internet would not be that convenient and
further
, they could cause tiredness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
if you sit in front of a TV and a computer for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long time.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are one of the main sources of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
information and
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to read.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
will not disappear from our life in the future, though TV and the Internet have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
profound influence in our life.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay TV, Internet and radio are very popular nowadays. Some people say that they will replace books and written words as the main sources of information. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts