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Scientists contribute more to society, so science students should get more support. v.1

Scientists contribute more to society, so science students should get more support. v. 1
Science is the backbone of technological developments that has helped in human dominance in the world. It is true that the government and authorities have not provided any extra incentives or scholarship to the science students. In my opinion, the government should provide extra benefits to science students. To commence with, scientists and researchers are the people who dedicated their life for the society. Firstly, they are the people who work hard to discover new technologies, medicines and the like by neglecting their family life. As everyone knows a scientist’s life is full of stress and tension, most of the intelligent youngsters have a reluctant mind to become a scientist or researcher. Furthermore, scientists are the boons to humanity. In this modern world, most of the essential problems can be solved with a mouse click ranging from e-banking to telemedicine. Moreover, Computers, televisions and mobile phones have made human life easier, faster and efficient. On the contrary, there are thousands of students who do not have the basic facility and money to complete their elementary education which is quite necessary for the development of the country and individual. There is an army of people asserts that 100% literacy rate should be the primary goal of a country and illiterate need to get more support. In this regards, providing extra facilities to the science students only might seem a discriminating idea. To recapitulate, scientists’ contribution towards society and to the world is invaluable so the science students deserve more favourable support from the government, these supports can attract more students towards this field.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
is the backbone of technological developments that has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in human dominance in the world. It is true that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and authorities have not provided any extra incentives or scholarship to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In my opinion, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide extra benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
students.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
and researchers are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who dedicated their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for the society.
Firstly
, they are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to discover new technologies, medicines and the like by neglecting their family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As everyone knows a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is full of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and tension, most of the intelligent youngsters have a reluctant mind to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
or researcher.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
are the boons to humanity. In this modern world, most of the essential problems can
be solved
with a mouse click ranging from e-banking to telemedicine.
Moreover
, Computers, televisions and mobile phones have made human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier, faster and efficient.

On the contrary
, there are thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who do not have the basic facility and money to complete their elementary education which is quite necessary for the development of the country and individual. There is an army of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
asserts that 100% literacy rate should be the primary goal of a country and illiterate need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more support. In
Did you mean "these"?
this
regards, providing extra facilities to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
might seem a discriminating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists’
contribution towards society and to the world is invaluable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
deserve more
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
support from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, these supports can attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
towards this field.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Scientists contribute more to society, so science students should get more support. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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