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Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v.12

Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 12
In recent years, there has been a rise in the number of crimes being committed. Many people are of the opinion that these wrong-doings should be classified categorically. However, I believe that each offence should be looked upon in a subjective manner, taking into account the nature and severity of these unlawful activities. Giving a fixed punishment would definitely make court proceedings a lot quicker. This is because the judges would not need to decide what type of punishment criminals would deserve as it would have been already decided for them. However, this is an unfair practice as some of the criminals may not deserve the punishments given to them. For example, a person robbing a convenient store will not deserve the same punishment as a person robbing a bank because the degree of the crime is not as severe as the latter. On the other hand, deciding a crime according to the situation and motive of it make perfect sense as it would ensure that the lawbreaker is given a fair trial and the right punishment is handed down to him. For instance, a mentally ill person who commits a murder would be judged accordingly, instead of being grouped into the same category of all the other type of murderers. This, therefore, will make the trial balance and fair. In conclusion, my opinion is that the punishment for a crime should be made up based on all the factors leading up to the unlawful action rather than providing judgement based on the classification of crimes into types.
In recent years, there has been a rise in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
being committed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
-doings should
be classified
categorically
.
However
, I believe that each
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
should
be looked
upon
Consider replacing "in a subjective manner" with the adverb for "subjective"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a subjective manner
, taking into account the nature and severity of these unlawful activities.

Giving a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
court proceedings a lot quicker. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the judges would not need to decide what type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
criminals would deserve as it would have been already decided for them.
However
, this is an unfair practice as
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
criminals may not deserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to them.
For example
, a person robbing a convenient store will not deserve the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
as a person robbing a bank
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the degree of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is not as severe as the latter.

On the other hand
, deciding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
according to the situation and motive of it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
perfect sense as it would ensure that the lawbreaker is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
trial and the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is handed
down to him.
For instance
, a mentally ill person who commits a murder would
be judged
accordingly
,
instead
of
being grouped
into the same category of all the other type of murderers. This,
therefore
, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the trial balance and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
.

In conclusion
, my opinion is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should
be made
up based on all the factors leading up to the unlawful action
rather
than providing judgement based on the classification of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
into types.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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