Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Students who go directly from school to university benefit less from and contribute less to their courses than those who take a job or travel in order to get more experience in ‘real world’ before they start higher education. v.3

Students who go directly from school to university benefit less from and contribute less to their courses than those who take a job or travel in order to get more experience in ‘real world’ before they start higher education. v. 3
Higher education is the precursor to success in today's competitive world. Thus, every individual want to have a professional degree after schooling. After higher secondary, whether one should directly go to a university, or he/she should take a break before higher education, has always sparked a highly intense debate. In my opinion, a break is very much important for professional growth, at the same time it also helps in increasing focus at studies. Firstly, it is very apparent that in order to reduce training cost, companies nowadays prefer skilled professional rather than a mere fresher. Thus, break in studies and investing the same time for gaining a relevant experience, will make the students prepared for the professional challenges. For instance, the Indian IT giant "Infosys", which annually fire almost 20% of fresher hired by them. This number can be highly reduced if the employees are already trained for the job. Hence, it can be easily stated that the gap-year taken by students, when invested for proper training, will help them in future. Moreover, after 12-14 years of rigorous studying, a gap-year would act as a refresher for the students. They can plan their future studies in the meantime. Talking about my personal experience; my elder brother after his 12th standard in science, was fully prepared to have an honours degree in Mathematics, as Math was the subject which had always excited him. But, after having one-year training in an IT company, he realised the scope in IT field. The professional growth in IT was exponential as compared to a linear growth in the field of Math. Thus, after rejoining his studies he went for an Engineering degree in "Computer Science", which catalysed his career growth. Today, he is well settled, and is drawing a handsome salary! Now, after stating this we can easily say that the gap-year can work wonders, with respect to the decision making of a student. After analysing the above points, we are in a position to safely conclude that, gap-year is something which every student should opt for. This will be helpful in terms of their professional growth and plans for their future. It is also believed that in the coming future, more and more students will take a break from studies before joining the university and will invest that gap for getting themselves trained.
Higher education is the precursor to success in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's competitive world.
Thus
, every individual want to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
degree after schooling. After higher secondary, whether one should
directly
go to a university, or he/she should take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
higher education, has always sparked a
highly
intense debate. In my opinion, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
, at the same time it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in increasing focus at studies.

Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
apparent that in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
training cost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
nowadays prefer skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
rather
than a mere fresher.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and investing the same time for gaining a relevant experience, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prepared for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
challenges.
For instance
, the Indian IT giant
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Infosys
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, which
annually
fire almost 20% of fresher hired by them. This number can be
highly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
if the employees are already trained for the job.
Hence
, it can be
easily
stated that the gap-year taken by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, when invested for proper training, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

Moreover
, after 12-14 years of rigorous studying, a gap-year would act as a refresher for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. They can plan their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in the meantime. Talking about my personal experience; my elder brother after his 12th standard in science, was
fully
prepared to have an
Possible spelling mistake. 'honours' is British English.
honours
degree in Mathematics, as Math was the subject which had always excited him.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, after having one-year training in an IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, he
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
the scope in IT field. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in IT was exponential as compared to a linear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in the field of Math.
Thus
, after rejoining his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
he went for an Engineering degree in
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Computer Science
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, which
Possible spelling mistake. 'catalysed' is British English.
catalysed
his career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, he is well settled, and is drawing a handsome salary!
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, after stating this we can
easily
say that the gap-year can work wonders, with respect to the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
of a student.

After
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the above points, we are in a position to
safely
conclude that, gap-year is something which every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should opt for. This will be helpful in terms of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
and plans for their future. It is
also
believed that in the coming future, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
joining the university and will invest that gap for getting themselves trained.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Students who go directly from school to university benefit less from and contribute less to their courses than those who take a job or travel in order to get more experience in ‘real world’ before they start higher education. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
389 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts