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A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks? v.11

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks? v. 11
Nowadays, people allocate funds on trips more than it was in the past. For many countries, it is beneficial to use the tourism as their main source of income, so they do all the best to improve quality of tours in the country and also they support the ancient architecture if its there; however, there are some issues which tourism brings as it is the main profit of the country. Tourist from all over the world annually makes a lot of travel. The country which is receiving guests obtains not only the profit from their presence but also the feedback from them that creates rating of this country. Therefore, the flow of tourists and earnings growth increases. Thus, tourism structure as hotels, resorts and also the rest of leisure industry begin to commit large momentum. It also increases workplace for citizens. The trouble that it brings is very serious. The issue is the dependence of the country’s budget only or mainly on tourism. If something like the epidemic or war had begun, people would not bring income to it. This is a very harmful problem that crosses all the benefits of it. Without tourism, the inhabitants will lose their job and this will bring the economic crisis. The country will wallow in Depts. In conclusion, there are many benefits which can make the country rich and popular if the quality of living and tourism is excellent. Nevertheless, this harmful problem can be a straight path of going over the cliff. In my opinion, tourism is well as the additional income, but not the primary.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
allocate funds on trips more than it was in the past. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, it is beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
as their main source of income,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do all the best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
quality of tours in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
also
they support the ancient architecture if its there;
however
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
as it is the main profit of the country.

Tourist from all over the world
annually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
travel. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which is receiving guests obtains not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the profit from their presence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the feedback from them that creates rating of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Therefore
, the flow of tourists and earnings growth increases.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
structure as hotels, resorts and
also
the rest of leisure industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to commit large momentum. It
also
increases workplace for citizens.

The trouble that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
serious. The issue is the dependence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
budget
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
or
mainly
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
. If something like the epidemic or war had begun,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
income to it. This is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful problem that crosses all the benefits of it. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, the inhabitants will lose their job and this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
the economic crisis. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will wallow in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Depts
.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
rich and popular if the quality of living and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is excellent.
Nevertheless
, this harmful problem can be a straight path of going over the cliff. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is well as the additional income,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the primary.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks? v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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