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Scientists and tourists can travel to remote natural environments such as the South Pole Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages v.1

Scientists and tourists can travel to remote natural environments such as the South Pole Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages v. 1
In the modern world, many people are willing to travel across the world. In this regard, some people reckon to think that international tourism makes individuals prejudiced, as they are not keen to stay in one place, and accept the ideas and opinions of the local community. However, there are many ways of solving this problem. I will discuss about these measures in this essay. On the one hand, it is true that the main cause of this issue is the nomadic life of travellers as they live without a permanent dwelling place. Accordingly, they are willing to introduce their own ideas to the communities because they believe that they have more knowledge than local dwellers. Furthermore, nationalistic view of the country is the second reason why they are not keen to accept someone’s opinion. To illustrate, some countries believe that their government is better than other regions, and they should be a winner in every competition and events. Consequently, such kinds of views often lead to the conflicts. On the other hand, there are many solutions for this challenge. Firstly, the authorities can advertise the abilities and skills such as being tolerant and patient. Secondly, the international organizations can alleviate this situation. For example, the UN can organize the event that can invite the citizens to be tolerant. Thirdly, parents can teach their children to be an open-minded person. Moreover, they can teach the children how to be patient. For instance, if their parents are broad minded people, their child can become such kind of person too. In conclusion, although many people reckon to think that international travel can damage the society, as the people may become narrow-minded people. However, there are many ways of solutions. In addition, international tourism can play an important role in the process of globalization, which is aimed to make the individuals open-minded people.
In the modern world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to travel across the world. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reckon to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
individuals prejudiced, as they are not keen to stay in one place, and accept the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and opinions of the local community.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways of solving this problem. I will
Did you mean simply "discuss these"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about these
measures in this essay.

On the one hand, it is true that the main cause of this issue is the nomadic life of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without a permanent dwelling place.
Accordingly
, they are willing to introduce their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to the communities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that they have more knowledge than local dwellers.
Furthermore
, nationalistic view of the country is the second reason why they are not keen to accept someone’s opinion. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries believe that their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is better than other regions, and they should be a winner in every competition and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
Consequently
, such kinds of views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lead to the conflicts.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions for this challenge.
Firstly
, the authorities can advertise the abilities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as being tolerant and patient.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
organizations can alleviate this situation.
For example
, the UN can organize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
that can invite the citizens to be tolerant.
Thirdly
, parents can teach their children to be an open-minded person.
Moreover
, they can teach the children how to be patient.
For instance
, if their parents are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
broad minded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, their child can become such kind of person too.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reckon to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
travel can damage the society, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may become narrow-minded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways of solutions.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tourism can play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the process of globalization, which
is aimed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the individuals open-minded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Scientists and tourists can travel to remote natural environments such as the South Pole Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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