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Scientists and tourists can travel to remote natural environments such as the south pole. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v.1

Scientists and tourists can travel to remote natural environments such as the south pole. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v. 1
Owing to the development of airplanes, it is convenient for people travelling around the world, especially for the remote area. This trend bring the benefits for scientists on their research but also pose some threats on the environmental exploitation. In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages if the regulation is enforced. Visiting to natural environment places broaden the educational horizon. In order to do research regarding some remote natural area such as the north pole, it is essential to travel that place. Doing the research on local can explore some unexpectable information which is difficult to study on books. This help scientist to acquire the-first- hand knowledge that became a strong evidence in their research. Therefore, travelling to remote can enhance educational level. On the other hand, visitors sometime cause environmental issue in those remote areas. They throw the thrash on the ground, for instance, this would destroy the beautiful view and polluted it. A famous place called Machu Picchu in Peru is an example of this. Numbers of tourists came to travel without cautious attention to protect the environment, so that pose dangerous problem to their habitants. As a result, local government should have set some law to avoid the severe exploitation. In conclusion, travelling to remote environmental area can enhance the knowledge for research while it would destroy the environment. An effective solution to address this is that local government should set the law to restrict the number of visitors for a day. This can significantly avoid the places suffering too much stress and still open for educational purpose.
Owing to the development of airplanes, it is convenient for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travelling around the world,
especially
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
The verb 'bring' is plural. Did you mean: "This trend brings"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This trend bring
the benefits for scientists on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
pose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
threats on the environmental exploitation. In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages if the regulation
is enforced
.

Visiting to natural environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
broaden the educational horizon. In order to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
regarding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
such as the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
north pole
, it is essential to travel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. Doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
on local can explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
unexpectable
information which is difficult to study on books. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
scientist to acquire the-
first
- hand knowledge that became a strong evidence in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
Therefore
, travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
can enhance educational level.

On the other hand
, visitors sometime cause environmental issue in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. They throw the thrash on the ground,
for instance
, this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
view and polluted it. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
called Machu Picchu in Peru is an example of this. Numbers of tourists came to travel without cautious attention to protect the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that pose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
problem to their habitants.
As a result
, local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should have set
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
law to avoid the severe exploitation.

In conclusion
, travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
can enhance the knowledge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
while it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the environment. An effective solution to address this is that local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should set the law to restrict the number of visitors for a day. This can
significantly
avoid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
suffering too much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
still
open for educational purpose.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Scientists and tourists can travel to remote natural environments such as the south pole. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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