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Scientists and tourists can travel to remote natural environments such as the South Pole Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages v.2

Scientists and tourists can travel to remote natural environments such as the South Pole Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages v. 2
Nowadays, more and more people like to explore faraway natural environments. Many humanists think these activities will cause some crises to local organisms, such as destroying their habitat, effect on the food chain, and overexploitation' s issue, etc. Some politicians believe this exploration assists human to find other resources of the land. In this essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of traveling to remote natural places, and conclude with my personal opinions. Firstly, many citizens and official people believe these natural territories possess many physical resources; for example, fossil fuel and rare species. These natural conditions can assist human to overcome many issues, such as improving the price of fuel and studying medicines for rare diseases. Moreover, developing these places can improve the tourism of these countries. Take Iceland as an example, this place attracts many urban folks, because it has much beautiful scenery; for instance, the polar lights and the natural lagoon. However, some moralists think people and governments should avoid developing these lands because it will result in many bad phenomena. Over-development will damage the natural habitats and cause many rare creatures to face the problem of extinction. Furthermore, the government is hard to prevent tourists destroying these places. Take the South Pole as an example, many visitors like to over there in order to see whales; however, such activity must crush natural environment. This process will lead to the situation of the earth get worse. To conclude, I disagree the international institution lets people and scientists explore these places. Experts can utilize other methods for medical research; furthermore, citizens can choose other methods to observe this rare environment, such as VR technique. Ultimately, I much prefer to protect and preserve these precious natural resources.
Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to explore faraway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
environments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
humanists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
these activities will cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crises to local organisms, such as destroying their habitat, effect on the food chain, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
overexploitation&
#039; s issue, etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
politicians believe this exploration assists human to find other resources of the land. In this essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of traveling to remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, and conclude with my personal opinions.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
citizens and official
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
territories possess
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
physical resources;
for example
, fossil fuel and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rare
species. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
conditions can assist human to overcome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues, such as improving the price of fuel and studying medicines for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rare
diseases.
Moreover
, developing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the tourism of these countries. Take Iceland as an example, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
attracts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
urban folks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
scenery;
for instance
, the polar lights and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
lagoon.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
moralists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should avoid developing these lands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will result in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
phenomena. Over-development will damage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
habitats and cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rare
creatures to face the problem of extinction.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
tourists destroying these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. Take the South Pole as an example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
visitors like to over there in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
whales;
however
, such activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
crush
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
environment. This process will lead to the situation of the earth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
worse.

To conclude
, I disagree the international institution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and scientists explore these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. Experts can utilize other methods for medical research;
furthermore
, citizens can choose other methods to observe this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rare
environment, such as VR technique.
Ultimately
, I much prefer to protect and preserve these precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Scientists and tourists can travel to remote natural environments such as the South Pole Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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