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Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. v. 1
Consuming the surplus amount of carbohydrate can be dangerous for people’s life. It is a controversial topic to clarify who should take a responsibility on this problem. In my view, it should be both governments and individuals can participate in solving this issue. There are those who say that governments should take a responsibility on limiting carbohydrate intake in processed foods. Until selling products to customers, authorities should examine manufacturer’s products as some food industries can include more carbohydrate on the products than a regular nutrition to improve the flavour of their products. The government should therefore enforce a strict regulation on the production sector to ensure that each material follows the nutritional requirements. Another duty is to increase consciousness for citizens to learn more about the negative consequences of carbohydrate intake by raising the price of carbohydrate will make customers thinking of high carbohydrate items, then switching to eat healthier goods. While others would say that it relies on individuals to response for their style of consumption and private compassion. Although the government takes care of this topic, individuals are often not really paying much attention to this subject. A good illustration of this is that some people have already known how carbohydrate effects on their health, but they still consume whatever they like with over limit especially carbonated beverage such as Pepsi and cola. In addition, individuals should be responsible for themselves by gaining more knowledge before making any decisions to purchase some products by watching television and surfing the internet as well as reducing the food containing too much carbohydrate and become a nutritious person. In conclusion, I believe that the best solution of this issue should be the responsibility of both governments and individuals. Governments have the power to control or regulate the production process while individuals are able to limit their eating habit and outweigh what is suitable for them.
Consuming the surplus amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life. It is a controversial topic to clarify who should take a responsibility on this problem. In my view, it should be both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can participate in solving this issue.

There are those who say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should take a responsibility on limiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
intake in processed foods. Until selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to customers, authorities should examine manufacturer’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
food industries can include more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
than a regular nutrition to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
therefore
enforce a strict regulation on the production sector to ensure that each material follows the nutritional requirements. Another duty is to increase consciousness for citizens to learn more about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
intake by raising the price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
customers thinking of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
items, then switching to eat healthier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

While others would say that it relies on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to response for their style of consumption and private compassion. Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
takes care of this topic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
not
really
paying much attention to this subject. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have already known how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
effects on their health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
still
consume whatever they like with over limit
especially
carbonated beverage such as Pepsi and cola.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should be responsible for themselves by gaining more knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making any decisions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by watching television and surfing the internet
as well
as reducing the food containing too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
and become a nutritious person.

In conclusion
, I believe that the best solution of this issue should be the responsibility of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
have the power to control or regulate the production process while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are able to limit their eating habit and outweigh what is suitable for them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS essay Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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