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It is more important to use the space in cities well than make them look beautiful. To what extent do you agree? v.1

It is more important to use the space in cities well than make them look beautiful. v. 1
In recent years, industrialization and modernization have become the necessary issues of each country, after that maximizing the city spaces has been considerable. That may be true, but I think that the government should appreciate decorating them more beautiful, too. The reason which I cannot deny is that maximizing the city spaces can solve a lack of land for house construction. In my country, the problems of using lands are extremely nervous, especially in some large cities such as Ho Chi Minh City, Ha Noi, Da Nang. The status of suspended planning is still popular, there are thousands of them in the country which have not been recovered. Predictably, if the government does not care about that, people living in urban areas or moving from the countryside will become homeless, the suspended planning will not be completed. That makes people feel disappointed and there will have more arguments need to be discussed in the near future. On the other hand, It can be said that decorating city spaces more beautiful is always parallels with using land effectively. In my opinion, a developing country needs to pay attention to not only the life quality of people but also through the form of cities to expand the country’s tourism industry. For example, in Hai Phong, the central strip was invested a lot of money in rebuilt the walking street to serve the entertainment needs of people last year. As a result, more tourists come to visit here, and the people live is better and better. In conclusion, I believe that besides using land effectively, making them more beautiful is a considerable issue that the government has to pay attention to.
In recent years, industrialization and modernization have become the necessary issues of each
country
, after that maximizing the city spaces has been considerable. That may be true,
but
I
think
that the
government
should appreciate decorating them more
beautiful
, too.

The reason which I cannot deny is that maximizing the city spaces can solve a lack of
land
for
house
construction. In my
country
, the problems of using
lands
are
extremely
nervous,
especially
in
some
large
cities
such as Ho Chi Minh City, Ha
Noi
,
Da
Nang
. The status of suspended planning is
still
popular, there are thousands of them in the
country
which have not
been recovered
.
Predictably
, if the
government
does not care about that,
people
living in urban areas or moving from the countryside will become homeless, the suspended planning will not
be completed
. That
makes
people
feel disappointed and there will have more arguments need to
be discussed
in the near future.

On the other hand
, It can
be said
that decorating city spaces more
beautiful
is always parallels with using
land
effectively
. In my opinion, a developing
country
needs to pay attention to not
only
the life quality of
people
but
also
through the form of
cities
to expand the
country’s
tourism industry.
For example
, in
Hai
Phong
, the central strip
was invested
a lot of
money in rebuilt the walking street to serve the entertainment needs of
people
last year.
As a result
, more tourists
come
to visit here, and the
people
live
is better and better.

In conclusion
, I believe that
besides
using
land
effectively
, making them more
beautiful
is a considerable issue that the
government
has to
pay attention to.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is more important to use the space in cities well than make them look beautiful. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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