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Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. You should spend 40 minutes on this task. v.4

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. v. 4
Art and science are said to be the standing pillars of our society. Both, an art enthusiast and a scientist, play an important role in the formation of our society. Their contributions together are highly appreciated and praised by the world. Their work has influenced many generations. But, deciding on who plays a dominant role is difficult. However, in today’s world where discovery and innovation are the buzzwords, I think that the scientists have the upper hand. An artist is capable, hardworking and said to even depict one’s mind. In the past, an artist was a shining armour in the dark for many. An ideal example would be the reference of M. F. Hussain, who was admired by many people for his outstanding paintings. The works of some amazing artists like Da Vinci, Othello, etc. also requires a mention. Various artists have also depicted the evil side of the society like child labour, AIDS, Women Crimes through their art. On the other hand, scientists are constantly working to make our lives simpler. The scientific revolution is considered an epic. Through new discoveries, they aid the society in overcoming the obstacles and challenges. Scientists come up with ideas to improve our quality of life. Through them we are able to achieve longevity, excellent innovations and discover the wonders of nature. Adding to this, scientists also do research and experiments to withdraw all the possible threats to the society. Meanwhile, almost all the equipment that we use In our day to day life have a series of efforts behind them. So from the above discussion, my conscience favours a scientist than an artist with concerns to their contributions. Both these as mentioned earlier are vital for us. An artist acts as a source of inspiration and information, whereas a scientist works as a source of innovations and inventions.
Art and science
are said
to be the standing pillars of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Both, an art enthusiast and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
, play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the formation of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Their contributions together are
highly
appreciated and praised by the world. Their work has influenced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
generations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, deciding on who plays a dominant role is difficult.
However
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world where discovery and innovation are the buzzwords, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
have the upper hand.

An
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
is capable, hardworking and said to even depict one’s mind. In the past, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
was a shining
Possible spelling mistake. 'armour' is British English.
armour
in the dark for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. An ideal example would be the reference of M. F. Hussain, who
was admired
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for his outstanding paintings. The works of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amazing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Vinci, Othello, etc.
also
requires a mention. Various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
have
also
depicted the evil side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
like child
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
, AIDS, Women Crimes through their art.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
are
constantly
working to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
simpler. The scientific revolution
is considered
an epic. Through new discoveries, they aid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in overcoming the obstacles and challenges.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scientists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our quality of life. Through them we are able to achieve longevity, excellent innovations and discover the wonders of nature. Adding to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
also
do research and experiments to withdraw all the possible threats to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Meanwhile, almost all the equipment that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
In our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life have a series of efforts behind them.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
from the above discussion, my conscience
Possible spelling mistake. 'favours' is British English.
favours
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
than an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
with concerns to their contributions. Both these as mentioned earlier are vital for us. An
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
acts as a source of inspiration and information, whereas a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
works as a source of innovations and inventions.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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