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Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. You should spend 40 minutes on this task. v.5

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. v. 5
In our modern society, it seems that scientists and technology experts are more valued than musicians and artists. People get many benefits of technology and science, but art and music are also enriching our lives. This essay here is aimed to argue science and art are both important in modern society. On the one hand, science and technology are the basis of our modern lives. Honestly, it's hard for people no to use modern technology to live. For example, many people couldn't get to their destination when they drive themselves without GPS. It's just a little part of our lives, where science is used in our daily activities. It is sure to say science change human beings' society dramatically. Besides, not only for human daily activities, but also for the curiosity - the emotion born with the human. Many scientists just explore the university because of curiosity. There are too many questions waiting for people solve it. Where are we from and where should we go? Science could be thought of the future of human beings. On the other hand, art and music could be assumed as the same origin as science. People could find centuries years ago, a large number of scientists are also artists, like Da Vici. Renaissance even started earlier than the first industrial revolution. If science is changing people's lives, art and music are changing people's spirits. Modern society consists of people and art make people recognize themselves. People express their emotions and thinking via music and art which can go through time and space. The power of art could be felt for hundreds of years ago. It makes people feel their humanity and value in modern civilization. In conclusion, science is the foundation of modern society and art is the content of the paper of civilization. Thus, science and art are both valued to human. It can be predicted that science and art will get more achievements and become more precious in our modern civilization.
In our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
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society
, it seems that scientists and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
experts are more valued than musicians and artists.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of
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technology
and
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science
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are
also
enriching our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. This essay here
is aimed
to argue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
society.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are the basis of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Honestly
, it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
couldn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to their destination when they drive themselves without GPS. It's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in our daily activities.
In English, people don't say 'it is sure'. They say, 'it is certain that'. Did you mean "it is certain"?
It is sure
to say
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science
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
dramatically
.
Besides
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
daily activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the curiosity
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the emotion born with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
scientists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
explore the university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of curiosity. There are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions waiting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
solve it. Where are we from and where should we go?
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of the future of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.

On the other hand
,
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art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
could
be assumed
as the same origin as
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science
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
could find centuries years ago,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
scientists are
also
artists, like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vici
. Renaissance even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
earlier than the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
first industrial revolution
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is changing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are changing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's spirits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
consists of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
recognize themselves.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
express their emotions and thinking via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
which can go through time and space. The power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
could
be felt
for hundreds of years ago. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel their humanity and value in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
civilization.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is the foundation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is the content of the paper of civilization.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
are both valued to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
. It can
be predicted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more achievements and become more precious in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
civilization.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
60Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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