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Nowadays people the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v.1

Nowadays people the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 1
These days technology is changing the way many people communicate with each other and has influenced the type of people interacting in various ways. These changes have some positive and negative implications in terms of communicating, but I believe the positive impact of technology on relationships is more conspicuous. Technology has ushered humanity into a new epoch in connection that has a profound impact on the interactions people make. First, it seems with more developed applications people prefer to use them to make contact which is so convenient. In addition, they cannot afford enough time to interact with each other anymore. Accordingly, social applications and networking have a wide appeal among people like Facebook and Whatsapp which make a way for keeping in touch or foster new relationships. What's more, the quality of interaction which people make through the virtual world has significantly declined in several respects like emotions, sentimentality, and passions. So that technology brings about confusion and misunderstanding since people do not able to express their real feelings via these modern devices vividly. It is a given that, most virtual communication people make, have less emotional express compare with face-to-face communications. But the thing is the advancements that technology affords, make the possible drawbacks pale In comparison. In the first place, it can pave the way for having a sustainable form of interaction. The access to the communication applications provides certain conditions to people stay in touch with each other at any time and anywhere. Also, with the advent of technology, the barrier of long-distance communications seems to be eradicated that had a huge impact on the relationships of those people emigrated overseas. It facilitates them to be in touch with their families more than before and provide for them a possibility to make a video call to see family members and enjoy it occasionally. In conclusion, technology has certainly revolutionized communication between people. Despite having some downside aspects that have affected people's relationship, it is a great step into future communication.
These
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
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technology
is changing the way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
communicate with each other and has influenced the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interacting in various ways. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
implications in terms of communicating,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
is more conspicuous.

Technology has ushered humanity into a new epoch in connection that has a profound impact on the interactions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
.
First
, it seems with more developed applications
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
contact which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
convenient.
In addition
, they cannot afford
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to interact with each other anymore.
Accordingly
, social applications and networking have a wide appeal among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like Facebook and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a way for keeping in touch or foster new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
. What's more, the quality of interaction which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
through the virtual world has
significantly
declined in several respects like emotions, sentimentality, and passions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
brings about confusion and misunderstanding since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not able to express their real feelings via these modern devices
vividly
. It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that, most virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
, have less emotional express compare with face-to-face communications.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the thing is the advancements that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
affords,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the possible drawbacks pale
In comparison
. In the
first
place, it can pave the way for having a sustainable form of interaction. The access to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
applications provides certain conditions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stay in touch with each other at any time and anywhere.
Also
, with the advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, the barrier of long-distance communications seems to
be eradicated
that had a huge impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
emigrated overseas. It facilitates them to be in touch with their families more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and provide for them a possibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a video call to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
family members and enjoy it
occasionally
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
certainly
revolutionized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downside aspects that have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
, it is a great step into future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays people the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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